Tuesday, December 04, 2007
" Mayydam (supposed to be madam )...majha number ikde ala kaa??"
Before I could reply anything..his phone rang :
Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan
Bilanchi nagin nighali..tan tan
Nagoba dolayla lagla
(I am not very good in Marathi ..but I think it means..the snake has come out of his hole and has started to dance..I mean something like that... sooo funny ..;))
Me : Hmmm ..(Acknowledging the fact)
" Mayydam mera naam Tantya aahe ..myera acct madhe kahe tari gadbhad hote aahe" (please read it the way I have written..with Marathi accent )
Me : kyu kya hua ?
Mr Tantya :"pleaje aap dekho...some problem..charges cut hota"
Me: " Ok let me check"
Concerned and caring that I am for everyones feelings...I tried to sort out the matter as fast as I could...(honestly I was much concerned about my saree..and was in a real hurry before any future disaster could take place)
Now imagine the scene..Myself concentrating totally into the transactions made by Mr Tantya and trying to find the "Mysterious charges" in his account and on the other hand there was Mr Tantya and one of his chamchas. It seemed as if Mr Tantya had not been allowed to talk since ages and he was trying to find a scape goat for that..coz after every 10 min he would interrupt and provide me with some unwanted information.
"Mayydam aapko maalum mera alu ka bujness hai..."
" Alu??" ( That was a very obvious reaction coz I was not expecting him to tell me his biodata)
"Alu mayydam....alu...wo uska hum log chips aur pakoda banate hain..aap nahi khaate kya ?? "
The person accompanying him said in his monotonous voice.." Potatoe Mayddam potatoe"
Me:" Ya ya I know alu..acha acha uska business hai"
Mr Tantya : " Haan ani kaanda ka bhi bujness hai "
Stupid me again : " Kanda??"
" Kanda mayydam ..kanda...wo jiska pakoda bhi banta ahe...aap nahi khaati kya..Jain hain??"
Now before the companion could open his mouth I jumped
" Nahi nahi mujhe pata hai kanda..onion na...haan khaate hain..Adcha acha uska bhi business hai"
Mr Tantya : " Mayydam aapan marathi aahe ka ??"
" hmmm...nahi kashmiri"
" haaaaaaan!!!! ..arre mayydam aap poora kashmiri hi lagta hai...kashmiri bahut ache hote hain..bechara log ke saath bahut boora hua (witha verrry sad expression)...aap poora kashmiri dhol ke jaise lagte hain"
Now I was seriously taken aback..dhol me?...do I look like a dhol..I mean for people who have not seen me..I look a bit like Kareena kapoor, a bit like Rani mukherjee..and a biiiiiiiit like priety zinta ....wait a second did I forget Ashwarya Rai...!!!
( For those who have already seen me and know that I look like Lalita Pawar's lil sister...SHUT UP and read the next line..)
The chamcha again " Dhol nahi ..Doll..gudiya "
Fortunately by this time I was successful in detecting the Root cause of his
" mysterious charges "...
" Mayydam poore bank mei aap ho jo mera doubt solve ki...mei aapko bahut saara alu chips hai na uska packet doonga..mera uska bujness hai "
Chips packet ..woww..you cant imagine I was soo happy..chips packet ..may be some pakodas too...yummm yumm...I acted and became extra sweet. Suddenly I stopped calling him Mr Tantya and started calling him Uncle Uncle.." Arre nahi Uncle isme kya badi baat thi"..and giving a expression of YE-TOH-MERA-FARZ-THA.
" Nahi mayydam..mei jarooooor laaoonga"
Time wasted but not quite I was going to get Alu chips packet...I told this incident to my friends Shiny and Srinu..both were happy and super excited..each of them made their own plans to pitch Tantya uncle for their share of Alu chips and pakodas.
We made story's of how uncle would come with packets in his hand...and we would dance :
" Tofa Tofa Tofa Tofa Laya Laya Laya.."
Wowwww !!! ..When would he come..Everyday we would wait for Tantya uncle to come..every day we would save some place in our stomachs for Tantya uncles chips..may be he would come.
AFter 1 week atlast he came. Shiny sent a instant message to me..
" Arre uncle aa gaye.. uncle aa gaye..he is coming to u only...plzz do remember my share"
Srini on the other hand " My share is 50% .. do remember..:))) "
Me to both " Who r u 2..i dont remember being ur frnd..:P "
And simultaneous message from both of them " TRAITOR !!! "
" Hello Uncle "
" Hello Mayydam...dekho mujhe yaad tha mei laya aapke liye"
Actress me trying to act as if I dont remember " Kya uncle?? "
" arre mayydamm yaad nahi ..Alu chips..pakoda..kanda"
" arre dont tell me aap laaye??"
" hann mayyadamm...aye Ganpat chal alu laa"
My attention now totally towards Ganpat.Suddenly everything happened so quickly that I didnt quite understand.. I got a instant message from Srini..
" somebody didnt want to share..gud for that person...hahhahaha"
and theneverything became clear...in front of me stood Ganpat with a real big bag ..
" ye Bhori mei kya hai?? "
" Alu aur kanda mayydamm"
" alu aur kanda??"
" haan maydamm jiska alu chips bhi banta hai aur kanda ka pakoda bhi banta hai"
" kanda??...mujhe samajh nahi aa raha"
Ganpat again breaking the silence.." kyu madam aap kanda nahi khaate ..ap Jain hai?? "
Now controlling my irritation..."Arre kya aap jain jain kar rahe ho...mei jain nahi hun...uncle aapne toh chips bola tha na SHAYAD"
" nahi mayyadam..mera bujness alu ani kanda ka hai..chips aap banao ghar pe.."
Now I tried to hide my dissappointment "ohhh heheheh acha acha uncle mujhe nahi chahiye ye bhori"
Damn bhori full of potatoes..just imagine leaving office with that bhori on my shoulders...
srini gave me a wicked smile...Shiny came running towards me.." what happened what about my share..? "
" Your share?? ..he gave me a bag of potatoes...and said ghar pe alu chips banao.."
We had a hearty laugh that day..:)
Next day while having lunch we overheard X saying to Y..You know there is this Tantya uncle he has got Chips business..I and shiny looked at each other..winked and said all the best to X..though she still does not knmow the reason..I am sure the D day will come soon in her life too..;)
(PS : This had the folowing charachters
main Lead : Myself
Actor in Negative Role : Tantya uncle and his chamcha
Extra's : Shiny and Srinu ( Yeahhhhhh atlast You have got a role...15 minutes fame...;P )
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me...
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You would be leaving with me
Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before
I practice every day to find some clever
lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening
And I'm alone with you
The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you...
Monday, October 01, 2007
My first reaction on hearing this melodramatic statement on news was.. "Duh!!!..why are these news channel people even bothering to show this type of news..but look at the poor girl !!! "
My brother gave me a wicked smile and said.."Yeah seems like somebody's future..."
Always ready for extracting some Juicy news from him I jumped.." ya !!..whose future ??"
He came close to me.. held my head with his hands, gave a sigh and then said "You My dear girl ..your future..."
"My future..ya right...why"
"You are mangalik dear girl..sob"
"Me???...I am a mangalik..who told u that.."
"well..I overheard..and let me tell you something ..this news is 100 % true"
Dhananananna Dhum tanananana ..Dhum tanananana....So on..
(For stupid ppl who are wondering what happened suddenly...guys this is my background music...I was shocked you see)
I felt as if I had been diagnosed with some Jaanleva disease...about which I had no clue...Sigh.I could feel the curiosity increasing in me.So I decided that from now on mission Mangalik or should I say Mission Mangu had to be started.
Within my research period,I got different versions and different definitions from of being a Mangalik.
Damn couldn't understand a bit..it talks about some houses..that Mars is in 7th number ka house..Moon is in 12th number ka house..and poor Rahu is in somebody's neighbor's house.. phewww very confusing
Friends Version: (Exaggerating from every sense )
Curious Me: You know what.. I am a mangalik..you have any clue about it??
Friend: Mangalik !!!...damn ..you hav got to marry a mangalik only..and if you marry a Non mangalik..your husband will DIE..
Hmmmm seriously??..Does that mean mangaliks are human killers?? Thinking about it...Mangalik people can start taking supari's..I mean if you want to kill some one (Non mangalik) marry her/him to a mangalik..and my fellow Mangu people will do the mission without getting anybody into trouble or any police case..Cheers to Mangu people...;)...Thanku Thanku this is my original idea and am not going to share the credit with any one..:))
Comedy friends version
Friend: You are a mangalik !! ..ohh ok ok..I know what you got to do..You have to first marry a tree and then a human..:P
Me: Duh..who told you that...
Friend: Ashwarya Rai..came to know everything from her marriage..
Tree !!!....damn it.. just imagine people attending 2-2 marriages..one with a tree..and one with a humanbeing..and then commenting.." I think the first husband was far better and much cuter than this one...!!! "..:)
or another situation I have a fight with my husband and I say.." Mei jaa rahi hun tumko chodke ,apne pehle pati ke paas..wo mujhe kabhi kuch nahi bolta tha...!! " ....;)
Flirt friends version:
Me again : yaar you know I came to know I am a mangalik
Friend : So what??
Me: Damn I will have to marry a tree first..
Friend : No no you don't hav to do that..seriously speaking..I am bored with life..I will do this sacrifice for you..I will marry you...if I die 'coz am a non mangalik...thats ok for me.. 'coz I am seriously bored..and if I don't die...we have already proved that mangalik and non mangalik's can be happily ever after..wt say..??
Hmmm..I thought that was very intelligent..and so cute..:)
In the end I still don't have any clue..why such a big fuss is created about a mangalik person..and am still trying to find more...
Saturday, September 01, 2007
1. I am a typical Cancerian Girl... very emotional..I get emotionally attached very easily...and so I try not to get too close to any1.I forgive very easily but I never forget..so if after years of friendship one day I tell you my age old feeling or some thing that had hurt me...don't be surprised..I remember each and everything . I kinda have a photographic memory ..so remember where exactly had we met ..how our friendship had bloomed..and when you hurt my little heart...phewww !!! sometimes I think my brain has got overloaded..
2.I luvv to laugh and I really luvv to be with people who can make me laugh and who enjoy life. You will always find me in the company of such people. Quite weird but I try not to be with people who who are very sad in their life or people who crib about everything ..not that I don't care about their feelings , Its just that I tend to become like them in their company...and I don't want to be sad..
3.I take up different habits from different friends of mine...it is because of some such friends that I got this habit of saying "AAIINN " and " Arre " (When surprised )..or " Ye kya Andugundu tha"...(Indecent movie or any indecent stuff..quite childish but I cant control that...)...and the most frequently used " yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh".....(When ever excited)
4.I dont like to do house hold chores..and I hate all girls who do it especially in front of my mom. Plzzzz girlssss...plzzz have mercy on meee..what have I done to you...whom are you trying to impress...Not me right, no use impressing me..I am straight.....ohh plzz and not my brother..he is tooo young for marriage... then y????
I don't know how girls do it..I mean you go to their place ..they act as if they are very happy to see you..they will run towards the kitchen..in 2 mins tea is ready..in less than a min different eatables are their in front of you..my mom always impressed by such act says " arre beta itna sab tumne kiya ..very good"....pat comes the reply " heheh aunty isme kya tha..."
isme kya tha???..isme ye tha ki now I have to learn the same thing and do it when you and your mom comes !!!
5.I am quite imaginative..I can make up stories .. I can act to make them look realistic. Some times I cook up stories in my mind and get very happy thinking about them ...eeesstupid me ..but thats the way..:P..
6. I am very possessive about my friends and my personal things..I cant share them with any one..though I wont tell them about it..but I get a bit jealous when my friends become friends with my other group friends..
7.What else...hmmm I am single...I have never had a crush in my life..well that was a lie..I have had many crushes in life..lemme see 1..2...3...4....100 ..but there have been only 2 strong crushes that had lasted for about a year..both crushes are crushed now...when I see back ..I am like shit why the hell did I ever like this person .they were terrible in every sense...my choice has improved like anything now..thank god for that..
But what ever it is I am happy being single..I am just not the typical Girlfriend types.I am so sure that even if I am in a relationship both of us ..(I mean me and my imaginary Boyfriend ) will be bored to death..what can one talk about everyday and I always wonder what do official gf and bf talk about???
8.Last fact about me to all my friends...I may have hidden a few facts about me from you but I Have Never Lied about anything in my Life..
Phewww thank god 8 points are over...actually I had landed up writing 10 points..editing karna pada last mei..
Now my turn to tag ..heheh my favorite..Each one of you has to write 8 random Facts about yourself
Ajith , Arz00n , Kartik , Manish , Nikhil , Saurabh , Alpana , Hirdu...All the best..:)
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Happy Bday to u
Happy Bday to u
Happy Bday to dear CC (excuse me...Candid Confessions.. not call center..:P)
Happy Bday to u
Ehm Ehm now its my chance to say a few words about CC....Yup CC has turned 1 yr old ..(forget about the date..) and I m so proud of her..:)
I remember the time when I had no clue what blogging was all about .My dearest brother S and one of my family friends K..would go on and on about writing a new post and I would be like
" Helloooo what is blog spot..what do u do over thr..You just write wtever happens ??...isnt that weird ..what if people read it..blah blah and more blah"....Got many explanations ...( you know the type of explanations u can get from a blogger boy and his friend ..;))
In Aug I thought I should also give it a try ..I mean come on..one should try out different things in life right..so I wrote my first post..
Peep Into My LIfe
When I read this now..my heart bleeds from within..sob ..sucha saaaad story..but that time was totally different.My job was like an unhappy marriage..and I was desperately seeking for a divorce.The mere look at my HUSBAND's face would increase my frustration level and on the top of it my MOTHER-IN-LAW (Boss..:P) was pathetic. (Bigggggg Boooooo to her)
But then things started changing. I began to notice things and do things that made me happy..in short I tried to make things work in this terrible marriage. I would spend time thinking on what I would write next instead of cribbing. Everywhere..in the bus..in a rickshaw..in a park or my bank I would wait for weird people to do something strange ..something funny ,so that I could write about them and feel immense pleasure..CC gave me a reason to live and to enjoy..:)
UNBOUNDED STUPIDITY and FRUSTRATION UNLIMITED were two such real incidents .
Then atlast I got a divorce from my marriage and it was bye bye to mom-in-law...:). The new office was cool ..(TouchWood). The rest of the posts were written with the new office in mind.
STUPID CUPID is one of my favorite posts. I felt so stupid after the incident . But seriously those 5 days when I had spoken to this person X (on Intranet of my office) where the best days of my life...X rotated my life by 360 deg and then back to 0 deg.But cheers to X !!..we hav been gr8 friends..:)
Then came the phase when I wrote my first love story SWEET OGRE
Faced criticism like anything from those who know me..70% people were shocked..I don't know why..I guess because they thought I could never write such a thing..and secondly because 100 % people thought it was my story..(Huh !! )...but I thought what the hell..this was one such place where I could write wt ever i wanted..and nobody can dictate terms here..its my world..!! (and there was seriously nothing in it..you wont believe it, but I had to put a PS in that post..which was initially not there..!!)
Then there were my flashback wala posts like
CHANDRAKANTA, NOSTALGIA:SCHOOL DAYZ, ZZZZzzz
and some other incidents LAGA KI CHAAY PE BULAYA HAI
It has been a gr8 journey...cheers to CC
Ohh my speech is over.. yeah plz help your self,can have a bite from that cake..:) ( and keep some for me tooo...:P )
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
College : A friend left the Dance group just 2 days before the D day ..I was made a scape goat..I pleaded ..I warned ..but they emotionally blackmailed me..and next moment I was in the group and dancing like a statue..
Now again the same situation..I saw myself standing in front of 20 unknown people .. and was asked to dance in front of them (Hellooo!!! Before getting any absurd idea in your mind read the whole thing)...This was my second day in the Art Of Living classes .
Actually it had started as a bet, someone challenged me that I would not be able to attend this class after office..even if I did ..I would surely faint 'coz of its timing and rigorous activities..I took up the challenge and here I was asking the trainer
" But why me..??.."
Sir : " why not you"
Me : "I dance veryy badly plzzz..."
Sir : " So what?...tell me one thing that stops you from doing things that you like to..I know you like to dance ..I know you luvv to sing ..then what is it that stops you??" (Ok one clarification..sir was saying this 'coz while introducing myself I had very happily declared my hobbies as singing ,dancing..this is my trademark hobby point..obviously I didn't have any clue that he would ask me to stand and dance)
Me : " hmm...I don't know...I do like to dance but ..they will laugh at me ..I don't dance well "
Sir : "when nobody is at home..you dance rightt..."
I blushed a bit
Me : "Hmm ya some times"
Sir : "Then feel as if nobody is there..who are they to stop you from doing something you want to do...tomorrow you wont even meet them..some Tom Dick and Harry tells you that you dance bad and you stop it for the rest of your life..do they have so much importance that they can stop you from doing what you want to do..? Close your eyes..feel this instant..just see what makes YOU happy"
I closed my eyes..and for the first time I felt so much relieved..seriously have you ever felt that there is this another person in you that wants to come out..wants to do things that it has never done...wants to laugh , become a child again..walk in peace... Most of the time what stops us are our own friends..the thought "what will my friends say if I do this thing "..isn't it??
I opened my eyes..and was ready..(It's a different thing that the song on radio was one of my most hated songs..something like Thaade waaste de doongi jaan ve..yuck yuck..but I did some decent steps..Thank you thank you..and for those who thought my dance was bad..excuse me Mr Tom ,Dick or Harry don't want your opinion..hmmph ..sir are you listening..:)))..
I remember we had this experience sharing session where we were divided into groups of 3 ..each one had to speak for 5 minutes..Usually I talk a lot, but this time I felt 5 min were too long for my life..the uncle in my group had sucha long story about his life..I mean with all respect..it was great to hear his story.. but it was too long..the boy had a shorter story but a very interesting one..and mine was the shortest..I mean after 1 min ..I was asking them "what else do you want to hear..??"
Also there was this very lovely garden in our training centre..we were asked to go down and talk to one of the trees (one person with one tree)..initially we thought it was quite weird..I caught one sookha hua tree..I looked here and there to see what others were doing..most of them had already started talking ..I had no clue what to do..I mean I seriously don't have the habit of talking to unanimated objects..it was a perfect situation as if I had met a person for the first time..I had no topic ..I started by saying " What has happened to you?? Don't eat anything or what..?"...and then things started flowing.."Listen Suukhu (Nickname of that tree..cho chweet no..:)) I think you should really drink more water and absorb more sunlight if you want..and what about other trees..they are good na..let me know if they are not..ohh ok ok so you are happy..blah blah.." and then suddenly realizing that I should now stop my gupshup with the tree..that was one moment when I was laughing on myself for having talked so much (and such nonsense..but the tree was very sweet and very patient )
Also I came to know how working in a bank makes you kind of a popular personality.While standing outside the class during break time...one member came to me and said " You are in XYZ bank right..I had been there..I had come to you..and my wife knows you very well"
Me : "That is why I was thinking I have seen you somewhere..." (usually when I don't recognize people I maarofy this dialogue )
Uncle :" wow good memory"
Blushing me..: "Thanku Uncle"
Suddenly another boy came to join us
Boy : " Hey you are in XYZ bank right"
Me again trying to be smart : "yaaaa...You had come right..I remember you also"
Boy : "No yaar I have never been to a bank ( Duh..!! )...I just heard you when you were introducing yourself..why this your trademark dialogue hmm..??"
Lesson learnt : Be a good listener and never react before knowing the facts..
Ohh by the way before ending this post , there is one more thing that I learnt..
" Never be afraid of your view point, even if it is against the flow..may be people are waiting for that one person to stand up and fight for them"..
Thanku Art of living ..you really helped me a lot
With this I declare I luvv Himesh Reshamiya's music..even with his nasal twang..Himesh jii I think you are gr8...Himeshhh Reshamiyaaaaaaaaaa I am cuminggggggggg....:)..
Sunday, June 10, 2007
ohh teri Laila to disdi kaali
Majnu ne jawaab ditta
"Teri ankh na dekhan waali
ved vhi chitta te kuraan vhi chitti (Pages of Ved and Kuraan are white)
uspe syahi lagditi kaali ve
Gulamfarid jethe ankhiyaan lagiyaan
othe kya gori kya kaali ve ??
I dont know the proper words..but I liked it very much..it is a mixture of punjabi and hindi ...correct me where ever you feel the words are not proper.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
After office when I was leaving for home one of my colleagues who stays near my place offered to give me a lift. Now I don't usually talk much to him. But a lift ..cool..I started calculating
Bus Fare : Rs 15
Auto Fare till house : Rs 11 ( why is Rs 11 Minimum charge for Navi Mumbai people..when others have to pay only Rs 9..thinking of complaining..seriously...my cheapness starts again..;) )
Total : Rs 26
Motorbike lift Fare : Rs 0
Hmm pretty tempting I said OK and hopped on the bike ... Mistake No 1
About this guy (As usual I will call him Mr X ).. he is a very quiet person and I used to think he was a geek of some sort .I remember he once sent a SMS to me, it took me 2 days to understand the damned message ..and I still have my doubts whether I have fully understood the quote..;)
We reached home .The poor guy had come all the way to drop me, just as a formality I asked him to come inside..I mean you usually do it right.."Plz do come in "..when you actually don't mean it..but then he agreed instantly and said how he had always heard from my colleagues that I had a beautiful house. Surprised a bit I welcomed him inside. (Welcome ??...hehehhe )...Mistake No 2
He entered my house at 7 pm.Got introduced to my Mom and my Granny, became quite comfortable. After this I don't know what happened, but all the conceptions that I had had about him of being quiet and shy got blown away..(My remaining colleagues who are right now thinking that "Naaah!! He is a very shy and quiet person"... girlsss take him home..then you will surely come to know ) .
This boy..Once he started talking ..there was just no way to stop him .
Mr X : " I was in Xyz dept and then my Boss said blah blah and then I Thought...This is it...!! "
Chorus ( Mom ,Granny and me ) : " Tch tch then..?? "
Mr X :"..and then in USA..I thought..India is my home country..it needs me!!"
Chorus :" Waaah..!!.. very good " ( Huh ...Live Swades Movie..;))
Mr X :"and Blah.. blah... My native place is Xyz and then we go for walk in the morning ..blah blah "
By now we were half dead..
Chorus : " Yawn ...good good..."
Now's my favorite part..(but no offense)
Mr X : " Hehehe no no no...I don't eat Non veg food....ya..and I belong to the vanshaj of Shivaji.. "
Chorus : " Shivaji?? "
Mr X : " yes aunty ...Shivaji the Great..he was my great great grandfather..yes Aunty when there was a attack..blah blah and more blah.."
I don't know what he was trying to do..I mean if he was trying to entertain us..we were just not entertained..
My Granny who is a mimic and quite humorous ( but she can speak only kashmiri)..was now totally fed up and her comments had started ( you just cannot escape that )..
"Hatsa vayn kar nereey ya shivaji ?? em zan kheow son kal "
(Translation: When will Mr Shivaji go?? He has nearly eaten our brains )
Mr X : " What aunty..Hey Dimple what did she say??
I thought hard and blurted
Me : "That ...that no wonder you are Shivaji's grandson..You two have similarities..hmmm...lookwise "
Mr X : " Ya ya I know ...even my mom says that..bas ek beard ki kami hai ..hahahaha.."
We looked at each other..
Chorus : "ehm ehm ...hahahha.."
Even hints like " Beta khaana khaake jao !!" where not working.. we were getting answers like " Nahi nahi mei toh ghar pe hi khaaoonga.."..helloooooo then what are you waiting for ..go home no..!!
Atlast at 9.30 pm he thought of going home for having his Din Din..:)
Now I thought the trouble was over, but I was wrong..
Now here comes a twist.. Emotion ,Drama and whole cloud of suspicion ....target --> Me
My Mom ,Granny and by now even dad.." Dimple he talks a lot !!!! "
Me : " Ya I know..but he is a very shareef boy "
Mom: " Hmmm....why was he tellling us about his native place..??"
Dad: "and about his parents..??"
Granny : " and about shivaji's relation with him ??"
Me : " Don't know..I think ..lack of topic or something !! "
Dad: " Hmmm...Very talkative really...but why did you bring him home.? "
Me : " Formality..nothing else.."
Suddenly I felt like a terrorist being interrogated ..and sharp brains don't need many hints..I could smell what was cooking ...I defended myself..
Me : " Heyy plzz ...don't get me wrong..I don't even talk to him....Eeeesshh aapko kya laga mene chaay vaay pe bulaya hai ( you got a hint why I have named my blog LAGA KI CHAAY PE BULAAYA HAI..hmmm ...I am so sure everybody got it..sharp brains don't need much expalanation..:))
Mom and Dad: " Ofcourse Ofcourse we know..we do trust you....We were just asking.."
Me :"Ohh Thank God !!"
After 10 min
Dad: " Dimple ....Vaise he stammers a bit na..."
Me : " ..not again..!! "
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Looking from the outside..
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know you are not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feeling's with the truth
Cause I liked the view,Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you..
Monday, March 19, 2007
5.30 pm..I was desperately waiting to get out of office..only 30 minutes more and I would be a free bird...watch TV..sit online..but then I got this mail from my boss about a meeting which I would have to attend on Fraud Prevention.." What Fraud Prevention ??..What a $#%# topic..Why meeeee?? ".Forget about the boring topic ..this meeting was at a office which is about 2 hrs from my place. "DAMN IT !! I will have to rush" ..and my boss in his usual style said " Dimple this will be a life time ka experience..get the best out of it..thats why I suggested your name !! " (Life time ka experience..?? ) .In my mind I was like " Sir I don't want this experience..plzz you only go..don't send me..I am least interested"..but in front of him I opened my mouth as if I had won a miss Universe contest..."Wowww..!!! Thank you Sir..It will be soooo interesting "...I reached the place late..but was very sad to know that meeting had not yet started.After thoda time the meeting started..sadly there was not a single person whom I knew..The meeting was boring and the trainer was worse..Yawn and a double YAWNnnnnn from my side...my eyes were drooping and I was dozing off at regular intervals..
Don't know why but there is always a bugger in every meeting ( Let it be current office meetings or earlier college time meetings ) who feels fresh, active regardless of the shit topic being discussed..and has countless doubts..also these kind of species are least concerned about others.Now this kind was also present in my meeting.One point from the trainer 10 doubt's from his side...My sleep was getting disturbed because of him..every time he would ask a doubt ..our trainer would ask us the answer..toh naturally I would have to act as if I was thinking about the solution. Nodding my head time and again had caused a sprain in my neck, Torture had reached such a level..that different inventions that can be done (for people like me) where coming in my mind..what if I had some mechanism so that I could make a eye shape on my eyelid..people would think I am wide awake..but I would sleep inside...Heheheh nobody would come to know about that..and I would sleep silently...without anybody disturbing me..Zzzzzz....and then I would reach a jungle and suddenly fall in a hole...Thuddd!!....eeee I am awake ..I am awake...shit man I again dozed off in between..I kept my eyes wide open so that this would not happen again....Irritation level was increasing.."Abbe kya problem hai iski..kitna doubt hai isko..ek toh ghar pe jaane ke liye I am getting late..who is he where does he stay". But this went to deaf ears..people were really interested in this topic or may be they were just too good actors....actors...damn it ..what boring people..Suddenly I heard a voice "Excuse me ..can you just tell me what is the topic of discussion??.."..AAAHHHHH !!!! my soulmate...I looked sideways to know who was this person... He was sitting like Amitabh Bachan in DON watching Helen Dance..ek dum araam se...(sorry I just can't recollect his name ..so will call him Mr A )
Looks: 8 on 10
Attitude : 10 on 10
I was quite happy to have him ..(Not because of the above marks scored by him) but 'coz I was superior to him..at least I knew the topic of discussion..I said " Fraud prevention
of course "..
"Tch Tch that I know..what a waste of time..I would have reached home by this time.."
"Ya I swear ..on the top of it I am feeling so sleepy.."
He winked at me and said " Ya ya I saw that .."
" I was sleeping but still I know the topic..!!!"..I snapped back
"Ohh !! Don't get angry..I mean who wont feel sleepy.. even I was sleeping..I nearly fell off the chair...arre who wont sleep in his lecture..he is such a thakela Ramu Kaka "
"ya from puraane zamaane ka movies"
I tried to react to this stupid joke in a matured way by giving a expression of Was-That-A-Joke ..but ended up giggling like Amrita Singh of Chameli Ki Shaadi..
eeehhheee eehheee ( Plz don't take this for Keshto Mukherjee's laughter...)..
Me : " You were also sleeping ??..but how come I never saw this scene.."
Mr A : "Hahah that is the trick..You have to practice it..."
Me : "Yaaaa !! ..plz teach me how to sleep in meetings without anybody knowing it !!"
"You know what.. Usually I don't give coaching on this topic ..but in your case I will tell you how I manage it .."
Excited Me : "ok ok ready"
"You rest your hand on the table and put your chin on the top..this gives your neck immense satisfaction ..but your tired eyes get an excuse to doze off in between..experience has shown that every time you will sleep..your hands will slip from the table..and in case somebody catches a glimse of this scene..don't feel embarrassed..give a irritated expression and say "Sheh !! I think somebody had his lunch on this table..so much oil..my hand is slipping..!! "..95 % chances are that the person will also start complaining about one of his colleague's who makes the table dirty while eating ..and 5% chances are that you might get caught..but heyyy as it is you are not going to meet him again .."..
Surprised me :"Is that all ?? "
Confident Mr A:"Do you know every body in this round table meeting is sleeping..it is just that they are experienced like me..they know how to sleep with open eyes..why, didn't you notice..nobody is uttering even a single word."
Now I saw the people from his eyes..and yaa they all were sleeping..this male..he was so cool..and so goooood...hmm did I say good..naah he was god !!...;)
" But what about that gorilla..why is he asking so many doubts"
" Gorilla has to do that 'coz it is appraisal time..and the trainer.. is his boss"
"Ohh poor thing...are you not scared to doze off..what if the trainer catches you?"
He gave a very wicked smile , leaning towards me he said " You know what..he can't do that to me..'coz I AM HIS (TRAINER'S) BOSS and it is appraisal time !! "
I bit my lips.." What?? "
Giving a wink he smiled " Hahahha that was a joke..!! "
" Shit.. you scared me"
After receiving "Gyaan" from him I was all set to sleep confidently in the meeting..Thanks XYZ..
Though I still don't have much idea of how to prevent fraud..I have a fairly good idea of sleeping with my eyes open in office and now am Ready to Conquer any meeting !!..:))
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I remembered those day's when my best friend and I would giggle on stupid jokes. We were bench partners. Not a single minute when we would keep quite. I still remember the first time I met her and also the first time we fought with each other. The way we patched up after the fight..it was chooo chweet !!
There are so many incidents with her..
1 Incident : I and my best friend ( SP) where sitting and listening to our very borrrrrring hindi sir's kavita...yawwwwwwnnn...suddenly SP took out a pen and made a question mark on my hand..enraged even I made a similar thing on her hand..she tried it again ..but this time I tried to save my poor hand from her attack..she caught my hand and would not leave it..
" Kya chal raha hai yahan pe??" . She left my hand and both of us blurted out " Kuch nahi sir..kuch bhi toh nahi "..Sir looked at us quite suspiciously ... then gave us a very wicked smile and asked me " Usne tumhara haath pakda tha...tumko kaisa laga ??"..puzzled I looked here and there..praying some aakaashwaani would tell me the answer...but ultimately.. I very sweetly said "Hmmm ..patta nahi sir..vaise toh theek hi laga"....and sir laughed like a Dracula... It was year's after this incident that I came to know why he had asked us this question...phew!!! if I just meet him ones ..I seriously want to make many things clear !!!
2 Incident : One of my friend's was laughing in Hindi sir's class..( I mean this professor was mad..boring ...every bad and mad thing put together..)..
Sir : Anjuji ...kitna hasti ho tum !!
Anju : Sorry sir..
Sir : aaj kaunse paani se nahaya hai??
Anju : Paani??
One of the rowdy boys : Garam Paani se sir!!!
Sir : tumko kaise pata...hahaha...
Poor anju...vaise toh even we laughed ..but poor anju..:)
3 Incident : There was this girl in my building..who was quite older to me...I was in the 3rd std and she was in the 6th std...I was kind of her chamchi at that time...she used to speak very fluent English and in Third std..I speaking all wrong wrong English. One day I thought I would show her that even I could speak like her..so while going to school..I pointed towards two of my classmates and said " These childrens are very naughty "..She looked at me in disbelief and snapped back.." Dimple..it's not childrens ..it is children..you will say These children are very naughty "...Insult !!! That was a tight slap on my face..I would definitely show her the next time...I waited for 14 Nov to come...On the D- day ..I was ready..with great confidence I said " Ohh ..happy children day!!!! "....Now I don't think I need to say what happened next..those who understood this ..good ..For those who did not get it.." Ohh never mind..Happy children day..:)) "
Wake up !!!...please one more incident ..plzz
4 Incident : Our biology teacher had planned to take us on a trip to 'Chin Choti'..it is a mountain and midway there's a beautiful waterfall. Now my friend (SP) and I were quite happy about it. We started to day dream ..how we would be the first ones to reach the top ..how biology teacher would go gaga about us..now when the actual trek started..in the beginning both of us were all geared up to reach the top..but after 1 hr we both got so tired..and suddenly we got a laughter attack.. we just could not walk a step ahead..on the top of it..when half dead we reached the waterfall..I got so excited that I fell in the water on one of the seniors..a long imaginary story was later made out of this by none other than SP :)..( The story was that my bottle cork fell in the water..and the senior jumped in the water to find it for me..and she would always accompany this story with a very funny music.."Lalalalala..lalalalal..lalalallal..."..don't know how many of you understood which music it was...but it is a very horrible tune..which usually you will find in older..Dimple Kapadia movie's..like sagar..eewwww )
Lastly if SP you read this blog..which I am 100 % sure I will make you read this time...how could we ever dance on that song "Hun huna re hun hun huna.."..shit and that too if you remember we would practice it outside somebody's house..who would again and again come out to see whether we were a bunch of retarded children...and how could you suggest of singing " Aaj humare dil mei ajab ye uljhan hai " song for GROUP SINGING..Thank god !!! we didn't get time for rehearsal ..otherwise audience to bura haal kar dete yaar..;)
Shucks !!..Having to write a blog on this topic has brought back so many memories that one post is not enough for it..I will have to write sequels of this nostalgia ..Part-I, Part-II ,and so on..Yaa I mean I still have to write about how I got addicted to chatting , my college friends..godd so many things..seriously I am surely going to write on this again. Till that time if you have a cute,funny incident to share..Plzz be my guest !!..:)
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A formal introduction won't do justice to him, so let me take you to flashback (as usual ;))
Bandana tied to his head..sweat all over his face..unperturbed by the cheering going on for him...his eyes fixed towards the ball that is coming towards him...All children going crazy for him " Come on Laaloo you can do it !!!! come on .." ...and...and ..and ... it's a catch..Laaloo had done it again....Laaloo our very smart ,good looking and most eligible bachelor dog in our colony. He was good at everything. He would play with the children. Cricket was his favorite. He seemed perfectly normal ..we had never seen any signs of madness in him...till one day..when he for the first time saw HER.
It was a usual day. Everything was perfect...Laaloo busy practicing his cricket with colony children when he had a glimpse of her and for the first time in his life he missed an easy catch...and the ball landed straight on Her head ...well HER in this case is a bitch (Hey don't get me wrong she really was a bitch..ok for the decent ones...I will call her Laalee..though its a very yuck name..)Returning back to the topic....That day Laaloo's team did win the match ..but as they say in bollywood "per wo dil ki match haar gaya "..(I luvv that dialogue wonder who invented this line)
For us she seemed like yet another bitch..but for Laaloo calling her ordinary would have been calling Taj Mahal a pretty nifty tomb!!! He had made up his mind..and one thing was clear for him now, that life would be a pretty poor affair if he did not get to see her again. So everyday he would wait for her to pass that road. No idea about her feelings..but wise men say..she was pretty famous in her dog community !!!..why the hell would she be interested in him..but Laaloo was adamant. He would try to gain attention from her by bringing left over food for her ,mutton from butcher shop...etc etc.. I think even she had begun to like him..but would never speak out. But hell broke loose when one day Laaloo decided to follow her home. For ignorant people, each dog has its own area..and dogs dont like stranger dogs encroaching into their area. That day Laaloo had broken a law...following Laalee he had entered a different area.Suddenly Laaloo was stopped by the gunda and dada dog's (oblivious to this Laalee had reached home ). Laaloo could have run away..but he didn't..he stood there like a rock.. ready to face anything for Laalee!!! The result was terrible , they ripped his skin off...he was in a terrible condition..and landed straight in ICU. That day all colony children,adults ..everybody was present there to give him emotional and financial support. When Laalee came to know this she came running towards the hospital. Wise men say they saw tears in her eyes and gossip mongrels say they even saw her breaking her bangles on the wall and screaming a "nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia' !!!! Doctors had given up hope they said "Patient ki haalat bahut naazook hai ..Laaloo ko ab dawa ki nahi dua ki zaroorat hai "...I think she prayed quite hard..because after 5 days he opened his eyes..and recognised everybody.. prayers had paid off..Laaloo was fine in a month and back to normal health. He and Laalee got married and now are proud parents to 6 puppies...:))
Laaloo and Laalee
Returning from flash back
This story taught me many things:
1] If you are consistent and adamant you can get anything
2] Troubles will always come in your path..dont get scared..face it
3] And the most important lesson ...Dogs don't have to do anything ...they don't have to study,they don't have to go to work..they can sleep all day..nobody says anything to them..I wish I was a ..( I am not saying anything now !!!....;))
Sunday, January 21, 2007
'Bina tere na ek pal ho,
Na bin tere kabhi kal ho,
Yeh dil ban jaaye patthar ka,
na isme koi hulchul ho
Sanam Pe Haan, Ishq pe haan,
luta doon, mita doon,
main apni khudi'
" Let there not be a single moment without you, nor should tomorrow ever arrive without you. Let this heart turn into a stone, and hence not have any emotions/feelings any more. I want to lose my identity for my lover and my love!"
The same is the case with Jagjit Singh Ghazal's. One favourite ghazal of mine is:
" Pyaar ka pehla khat likhne mei waqt toh lagta hai
Naye parinde ko udne mei waqt toh lagta hai
Pyaar ka pehla khat likhne mei waqt toh lagta hai..
Jism ki baat nahi thi unke dil tak jaana tha
Lambi doori tey karne mei waqt toh lagta hai.."
Waah kya baat hai...Jagjitji tusi toh chaa gaye ho
and not forgetting Elvis bhai
"Wise men say only fools rush in
But I cant help falling in love with you
Shall I say or
Would it be a sin
If I cant help falling in love with you"
There are so many songs which have had an impact on me..who can forget the songs of
- Maine pyaar kiya..."Aate jaate " and " Aaja shaam hone aayi"
- Sadma.. "surmayi akhiyon se " and " ay zindagi gale laga le"
- and yes DDLJ .." Na jaane mere dil ko kya ho gaya" (one friend toh nearly killed me .."You dont like DDLJ songs !!!..how can u not have that in your list.." ..chill !!!! I included it now..;) )
- Dil to pagal hai " chand ne kuch kaha" ,"bholi si soorat " ,"dil toh pagal hai "
- Dil se " aye ajnabi "
- RDB " tu bin bataye "
- Taal " humko chodke jis raste wo jaate hain "
- Euphoria " Tum " , " maayari " , " yaar meri dhadkan "
- Gambler " Chudi nahi ye mera dil hai " (I luv it ...when Devanand shakes his head and says " nanana aise nahi dheere dheere chupke chupke daalo in mei haath" ...hoowww cute...;))
- RHTDM : All songs.." Dil ko tum se pyaar hua" , " hehehe bolo bolo "..in this song favourite line is .."never do this to me don't ever do this to me babbyyyyyyy..."..;)
- Dhadkan "tum dil ki dhadkan mei"
- Fuzon " Mora sayyia mose bole na" and "aankhon ke saagar"
- Gori teri aankhein kahe
- Hazaron khwahishe aaisi " Baawra mann dekhne chala ek sapna"
- Yaadon ki baraat .."Chand Mera dil" ," Ye ladka haii alla ".."mil gaya "
- Sun saiba sun ( dont know the name of that movie ..but I luvv the song)
- Karz (the coolest part about this movie and its song's are that every time Rishi kapoor comes on stage with his guitar in his silver suite and silver cap ..and says "kabhi kisi se pyaar kiya " ..you just fall off the chair and scream "kiya "...my favorite song is "meri umar ke nojawaanon " and that guitar waala hit music )
There are many more songs which at the moment I just cant remember...You tell me if I am missing any song which is your favourite..may be it is mine toooo..:))
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Breakfast in one hand and remote in the other, I was trying to find a good channel on a warm Sunday morning. Naah!! Not another Saas Bahu serial...no no..no sports channel for me...and then I came across a very flickering and unclear channel..Well no points for guessing..yes it was Doordarshan . They were broadcasting a short interview of Nirja Guleri .
"Nirja Guleri...Guleri ..I have heard about him . Does he come in my bank...well no ..ohhh Nirja Guleri !!!!!!"
Don't remember perfectly but I think I was in the third or fifth std and I remember our only lifeline was Doordarshan and DD Metro.I would wait desperately for sundays to come.
At sharp 9 am the sweet music would float in my Hall.
Chandrakanta ki kahani
ye mana hai purani..
ye purani hokar bhi
badi lagti hain suhani
naugaaaaaaaad vijaaaygaaaad ka raaaj kumaaaar..chandrakanta se karta thaaa pyaaaar..(2)
BLAH BLAH BLAH...
Wow!!! I loved Sundays soooo much. Every sunday would be like a picnic. We had a TV serial time table .
9 am : Chandrakanta
10 am : Duck Tales
11 am : Talespin
12 pm : Fun Time...etc etc
All my friends and I would assemble at one place to watch yet another romanchak episode of
" Chandrakanta". The world that was depicted in that serial was just so fascinating .I was greatful to Nirja Guleri for making this serial ( Director or Producer of that serial ..I mean I am not sure..but who cares ) .
For those who have no idea what I am talking about...well I speaka Englis and' if ya still don understan lemme tell ya :
This serial was about Princess Chandrakanta of Vijaygad and Prince VirendraSingh
of Naugad . Both are in luuvvv. But there is our dushman zamaana. Both these kingdoms are big rivals of each other ( Due to some unknown reason ..now you don't expect me to remember these details do you ?? ). Now Chandrakanta has a very cruel minded minister ..Mr Krur singh . He wishes to marry her but then his wish remains merely a wish ..Why??...'coz Chandrakanta loves VirendraSingh ..stupid..(I see not' attentive in class..!!!)...So our Krur singh decides to go to the neighboring kingdom and join hands with another rival Mr Shivdutt. Shivdutt is another very interesting character in this serial . He, my good friends is not a normal human being or should I say he is not a homosapien...but an aiyyar..( A person who can convert into other animals..hmmm very dangerous ) and he has poison in his blood !!!!! Can you believe that ?? But childhood is such a sweet stage in one's life. You just don't have the brains as to what is good for you and what is ..well stupid...!!
We would all go numb each time Shivdutt would throw his new wife out of the castle window and make a snake bite him ( He has poison in his body toh due to some unknown reason he has to do that every day and is helped by his Ex -Flame Vishkanya in that ).Everytime this would happen it would arouse innocent questions in innocent minds..(who had nothing to do ...I don't understand why I would waste my energy in understanding these logics instead of breaking my head in understanding logics of maths or science..)
First Bacha :Hey why does he do that ??
Second Bacha: Tha bitch asked him to do that !!!
Darpok Bacha :Ohh !!! this Vishkanya ..God is watching everything..she will never have peace in her life.
Hmm innocent minds...but not all were innocent ..
Any romantic scene would eco giggles in the room..tee hee ..I didnt watch that.. what happened..??
Hey I have my eyes closed..how do you expect me to watch ??..but nothing much happened. He was about to tee heee.. kiss her...but ... but then he only hugged her.
Even Krur singh had become quite famous..he had become a role model for all small rowdy boys ..a beautiful girl in the street and suddenly you would hear " Yakoooooooo "..or " YAkooooo Pitaaajiiiii "...This dialogue of Yakoo Singh had become more popular than our great shakti kapoors " Maaammaa AAAAOOOOOO"
And now for those who have started to complain that this post seems to be a mini episode of Chandrakanta.."EXCUSE ME..BUT HAVE YOU READ THE TOPIC...IT SAYS.."Chandrakanta : The Swashbuckling Fare "...that means ..it won't have anything related to your favourite serial "Shaktimaan " or may be " Raja and Rancho"..(but must confess the monkey is quite brilliant in that...though I don't remember whether he was Raja or Rancho ..:p)
Ok back to the topic...no don't get scared I am ending my post in Chandrakanta Eeeestyle...
tatatatamnnnnn...." NIRJA GULERI PRODUCTION "
Again the music :Chandrakanta ki kahani...mana hai purani..lalallalalallaal..