Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Alu chips, pakodas Etc...

It was traditional day in my Bank.I was very tired trying to manage my saree..which was sadly getting stuck with every movement of my chair. ( You can understand it was just the second time I was wearing a saree...still learning to carry it off !!!...:) )

" Mayydam (supposed to be madam )...majha number ikde ala kaa??"
Before I could reply anything..his phone rang :

Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan
Bilanchi nagin nighali..tan tan
Nagoba dolayla lagla

(I am not very good in Marathi ..but I think it means..the snake has come out of his hole and has started to dance..I mean something like that... sooo funny ..;))

Me : Hmmm ..(Acknowledging the fact)
" Mayydam mera naam Tantya aahe ..myera acct madhe kahe tari gadbhad hote aahe" (please read it the way I have written..with Marathi accent )
Me : kyu kya hua ?

Mr Tantya :"pleaje aap dekho...some problem..charges cut hota"
Me: " Ok let me check"

Concerned and caring that I am for everyones feelings...I tried to sort out the matter as fast as I could...(honestly I was much concerned about my saree..and was in a real hurry before any future disaster could take place)
Now imagine the scene..Myself concentrating totally into the transactions made by Mr Tantya and trying to find the "Mysterious charges" in his account and on the other hand there was Mr Tantya and one of his chamchas. It seemed as if Mr Tantya had not been allowed to talk since ages and he was trying to find a scape goat for that..coz after every 10 min he would interrupt and provide me with some unwanted information.

"Mayydam aapko maalum mera alu ka bujness hai..."
" Alu??" ( That was a very obvious reaction coz I was not expecting him to tell me his biodata)
"Alu mayydam....alu...wo uska hum log chips aur pakoda banate hain..aap nahi khaate kya ?? "
The person accompanying him said in his monotonous voice.." Potatoe Mayddam potatoe"
Me:" Ya ya I know alu..acha acha uska business hai"
Mr Tantya
: " Haan ani kaanda ka bhi bujness hai "
Stupid me again : " Kanda??"
" Kanda mayydam ..kanda...wo jiska pakoda bhi banta ahe...aap nahi khaati kya..Jain hain??"
Now before the companion could open his mouth I jumped

" Nahi nahi mujhe pata hai kanda..onion na...haan khaate hain..Adcha acha uska bhi business hai"
Mr Tantya : " Mayydam aapan marathi aahe ka ??"
" hmmm...nahi kashmiri"
" haaaaaaan!!!! ..arre mayydam aap poora kashmiri hi lagta hai...kashmiri bahut ache hote hain..bechara log ke saath bahut boora hua (witha verrry sad expression)...aap poora kashmiri dhol ke jaise lagte hain"
" Dhol???"

Now I was seriously taken aback..dhol me?...do I look like a dhol..I mean for people who have not seen me..I look a bit like Kareena kapoor, a bit like Rani mukherjee..and a biiiiiiiit like priety zinta ....wait a second did I forget Ashwarya Rai...!!!
( For those who have already seen me and know that I look like Lalita Pawar's lil sister...SHUT UP and read the next line..)

The chamcha again " Dhol nahi ..Doll..gudiya "
Fortunately by this time I was successful in detecting the Root cause of his
" mysterious charges "...

" Mayydam poore bank mei aap ho jo mera doubt solve ki...mei aapko bahut saara alu chips hai na uska packet doonga..mera uska bujness hai "
Chips packet ..woww..you cant imagine I was soo happy..chips packet ..may be some pakodas too...yummm yumm...I acted and became extra sweet. Suddenly I stopped calling him Mr Tantya and started calling him Uncle Uncle.." Arre nahi Uncle isme kya badi baat thi"..and giving a expression of YE-TOH-MERA-FARZ-THA.
" Nahi mayydam..mei jarooooor laaoonga"
Time wasted but not quite I was going to get Alu chips packet...I told this incident to my friends Shiny and Srinu..both were happy and super excited..each of them made their own plans to pitch Tantya uncle for their share of Alu chips and pakodas.
We made story's of how uncle would come with packets in his hand...and we would dance :

" Tofa Tofa Tofa Tofa Laya Laya Laya.."

Wowwww !!! ..When would he come..Everyday we would wait for Tantya uncle to come..every day we would save some place in our stomachs for Tantya uncles chips..may be he would come.
AFter 1 week atlast he came. Shiny sent a instant message to me..

" Arre uncle aa gaye.. uncle aa gaye..he is coming to u only...plzz do remember my share"
Srini on the other hand " My share is 50% .. do remember..:))) "
Me to both " Who r u 2..i dont remember being ur frnd..:P "
And simultaneous message from both of them " TRAITOR !!! "

" Hello Uncle "
" Hello Mayydam...dekho mujhe yaad tha mei laya aapke liye"
Actress me trying to act as if I dont remember " Kya uncle?? "
" arre mayydamm yaad nahi ..Alu chips..pakoda..kanda"
" arre dont tell me aap laaye??"
" hann mayyadamm...aye Ganpat chal alu laa"
My attention now totally towards Ganpat.Suddenly everything happened so quickly that I didnt quite understand.. I got a instant message from Srini..
" somebody didnt want to share..gud for that person...hahhahaha"
" wt??"
and theneverything became clear...in front of me stood Ganpat with a real big bag ..
" ye Bhori mei kya hai?? "
" Alu aur kanda mayydamm"
" alu aur kanda??"
" haan maydamm jiska alu chips bhi banta hai aur kanda ka pakoda bhi banta hai"

" kanda??...mujhe samajh nahi aa raha"
Ganpat again breaking the silence.." kyu madam aap kanda nahi khaate ..ap Jain hai?? "
Now controlling my irritation..."Arre kya aap jain jain kar rahe ho...mei jain nahi hun...uncle aapne toh chips bola tha na SHAYAD"
" nahi mayyadam..mera bujness alu ani kanda ka hai..chips aap banao ghar pe.."
Now I tried to hide my dissappointment "ohhh heheheh acha acha uncle mujhe nahi chahiye ye bhori"
Damn bhori full of potatoes..just imagine leaving office with that bhori on my shoulders...
srini gave me a wicked smile...Shiny came running towards me.." what happened what about my share..? "
" Your share?? ..he gave me a bag of potatoes...and said ghar pe alu chips banao.."
We had a hearty laugh that day..:)

Next day while having lunch we overheard X saying to Y..You know there is this Tantya uncle he has got Chips business..I and shiny looked at each other..winked and said all the best to X..though she still does not knmow the reason..I am sure the D day will come soon in her life too..;)

(PS : This had the folowing charachters

main Lead : Myself
Actor in Negative Role : Tantya uncle and his chamcha
Extra's : Shiny and Srinu ( Yeahhhhhh atlast You have got a role...15 minutes fame...;P )


Hirdu said...

:) In 1 word :) ROTFL

n said...

Had a hearty laf .....so ..wat did u do wid the aloo ka bori ..lolz ....

mukul said...

I was really bored a lot ... and I am really lucky that I came to your blog! This is very vivid blog ... praan vayuuu ....

Jab We Met said...

I thought that u would write something much more interesting this month, allthough your writing style is amazing and full of life-fun and happening, and when did u wear saree for the first time,,.,.,,and what about the marathi,,i guess u speak it good, and kashmiri ?? u speak kashmiri well ??....dont know,,,,cheers !!

jab we met said...

but your comment was full of fun

Dimple said...

@hirdu : thanks dude..:)

@n: damn yaar wt alu ka bhori !!...return kar diya ..who would carry it home..but mom was quite upset..;)

@mukul: praan vaayu..lolz...

@jab we met: much more interesting...hmmm lets c may be next month..;P...about ur questions...lemme c..i wore saree for the first time wen i was in college..yeahh thats rt..
naah yaar marathi poora toota foota aata hai..but heyy my kashmiri is gud..(i mean better than marathi atleast..lolzz)

Wanderer said...

chal achha hai.... mote logon ko zyaada chips nahi dene chahiye :P

Sonit said...

ohh to ab kareena....rani....preity...aur ash milke alu ke chips bana rahe hai???hehehe....mast tha yaar ekdum.....i had a hearty laugh......uupar wala dekh raha hai....tumne jo tatya uncle ki sewa ki....uska inaam diya tumko.....alu ki bori....aur kaanda bhi....jiska pakoda banta hai na....aapko nai pata kya???aap jain ho kya???

hehehe kashmiri Dhol

Dimple said...

@wandrer: tu motu..:))

@sonit:hahahahha had hearty laugh after reading ur comment..sahi tha re...uper waale chaapad faadke inaam diya..:))

!!! said...

kus tavan...ye'th te' chaa customer aasaan...


Sonit said...

tum isi tarah insaniyat ki sewa karo.....tumhe bhagwaan aise hi inaam dete rahenge.....hamara aashirwaad tumhare sath hai.....

sunny said...

Hey Dimple yaar this is not done you have copied APMC branch story...mere branch or kafi saari stories hai like Alu-kanda,rice,wheat,mango...etc....thanx for writting something about my market clients.... frankly speaking it's nice story...i have faced lots of such incedence in the branch......and i m interested in knowing that who is that X person...

Dimple said...

@!!! : yeh chu na kihinte..tavnas em khot teh namuna louk che yevaaan..!!

@Sonit :Bas aapka aashirwaaad mil gaya aur kya chahiye..bhagwaan ne abhi bhori bheji hai ..kal kuch aur bhijwaayenge

@sunny: jhooth mat bol..ye mere branch ka story hai..
haahaha arre wo X ...wo mystery hai..;)..btw tantya uncle tere yahan aaye toh pitch karna alu chips ke liye..:D

Sudi said...

ha ha ha ... i can only imagine u wearing the saree and carrying the bhori of alu and kanda.... gud one lady :)

Red Soul said...

hey ur blog is lovely! :)

matty said...

LOL...that was the funniest thing i read lately..
you r damn gud..
though i this is the first time i dropped at ur blog..
but i have decided to blogroll you..
keep writing ...
looking forward for more from you!!


Hirdu said...

You have been tagged for your New Year Resoultion


Dimple said...

@sudi:ohh god dont say tha..;)

@red soul: Thanks yaar
@matty: Thanks for blogrolling me..:)
@ hirdu: will take it up..thanks

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

oye kashmiri dhol..!!

kanda wada kaise hain??

alu chips njoy kiya?? and onion daala khub sara apney khaaney mein...im sure ur mom would have loved him...lol...superb!! ;)

dont forget me during ur 'chips' party with sinni and shiny... :D

Red Soul said...

oh god sooooooooooooo funny!!! hey ask that man where did he get that belanchi naagin ringtone........ I NEED IT ASAP. I m marathi and its sooooooooo funny. I woudl be sooooooo fuckin proud to own that ringtone ;) and flaunt off to my classmates :P

Red Soul said...

oh my god. this was hilarious. u luk like DHOL?! I m sure u luk the combination of all hot chicas of bollywood . lol. i might as well add Bipasha;s sensousness and Mallika's figure too :P

And the meaning of that ringtone is.... lady-snake has come out of the home and sir-snake has started dancing (coz he is happy and excited) LOL

Sonit said...

bheja na bhagwaan ne....remember wat u told me on chat the other day.....beta hamara aashirwaad aapke sarr parr rahega to aise hi aish karoge

Dimple said...

@nabila: surely if i gethold of a person who is ready to supply a bhori of alu chips ...i will surely inform u..;)

@red soul : sure let him cum again..i will ask him ...send u that song..:)..btw thanks for expalining the correct meaning..now i m sure ..i m not gud in marathi..
PS : combi of hot chics...u surely havent seen me..:P

@sonit: thanku jii ..:)

Sneha said...

Have been to your blog for the first time and really liked it.:)

Kartik Menon said...

mast hai yaar....tu srsly sab kaam rehne de and start writing scripts for bollywood....

Mohit said...

Tooo Gooood....

Radhika Suri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dimple said...

@sneha: Thnks a lot..

@kartik: haan yaar mast idea hai...sochna padega..per tu promise kar tu wo movies zaroor dekhega.. ..;)

@mohit: Thanks

@Radhika: hiiiii RAdhika...sonit sent u the link kya...wowww...how sweeet of him...btw thanks for commenting yaar..:)

Vandana said...

Hilarious to the core Ms.Dhol ! ;-)

Anonymous said...

belachi nagin ne gali...nagoba dolila lagla.

as i understood it, all this while, was naagoba is male snake who is happy to charm the female snake showing his lol..swinging...skills. He is all erect and all and courting...

ah, all marathi songs and movies have double meaning. and its fun. i tell you, these guys have life...and have fun in teasing and enjoying while it last. i mean life.

my nagoba is haappppy that he came to this site.

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Anonymous said...

Hi Very funny post...

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