Monday, August 10, 2009

Jab We Met (Part 2) ..Gathering Troubles

" Hellooo !!!!"
Me : " Namaste Aunty !!! "
Looking very pretty...sooooo ..feeling nervous ?? "
Me after fake blushing : " Hehheheh....hmmm..ya a little nervous...and hows every one??"
Everyone is fine...heheheh....chalo all the best...byee"
Thanks Aunty"

Okkkk now who was she???....a new question..a new doubt..

If you are still thinking what exactly is going on in this post..then boyzzzz and was my marriage reception ...(
Sorry to break all handsome and not so handsome hearts )...well yes I got married and on my reception day I realised I had a memory power of Aamir Khan from Ghajini....
Those who are married and have undergone this experience will know what I am talking about..and those who still have not got should really undergo such tests..this will help you in analyzing yourself.. knowing your strong points..your intelligence.. whether you have an inbuilt acting and modeling talent or not ...and to know whether you have a photo genic face..or that of a scare crow..;P..

Receptions/Marriages are like reality shows...In front of the camera..nothing can go wrong..its all perfect..Bride HAS to look beautiful..Groom HAS to look like a prince..and a fairytale is captured by the camera man..with varied background music.. (such songs which you might have never even heard before)...but off camera..silly mistakes..goof up can happen..

Hey was she your aunt or mine??"
Pata nahi re....we will ask somebody else afterwards..keep shooting ho raha hai"..said S in full enthu
Lights camera smile from my pose from S's side..and there was no end to the imagination of the photographer...sometimes you are asked to give a serious pose of Amitabh Bachan and Jaya Bachan from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam...sometimes a exra happy look from Hum Saath Saath Hain...but after giving so many get so frustrated tired..that you start looking like Sridevi from Nagin..;)....

Sir ...hello sir...aap seat pe betho ..and madam aap seat ke handle pe betho.."
Sir smile toh do..wo dekho madam ko...kaise hase jaa rahi hai.."
Believe me one photographer said exactlyyyy this to me..I was not even smiling da..I dont know why he said that..but I got sooo bloody conscious that I stopped smiling only)

Heyy..kya hai wo aunty ke plate mei...slurrpppp ...kya tasty lag raha hai"
" Arre humko nahi milega kya...??....humko khaana kab milega??Humara number kab aayega??"

Yup this was the worst part when I could see everybody enjoying other than the two of us...people having tasty tasty Tandoori chicken, Paneer pakode, Spring rolls ..yum yum ...was feeling like a roadside beggar watching rich kids have their food..."
Humko kuch kaane ko dede baii"..

But damn ..cant eat on stage...imagine all my pics coming with one plate in hand..Hmmm not a good sight..

On top of all this... when you see so many people together in the same hall, you keep forgetting their names.. their connection with you know them..when you met..etc etc blah blah..BUT you need to act...act as if he / she is the chosen one "for your marriage"..
But this acting has to be done under proper guidance..else things can go wrong..and YOU CAN BE CAUGHT MID WAY..
Namakaaarrr beta...kaise ho"..(In a typical Kashmiri accent)
Namaste uncle..mei theek hun..aur sab log kaise hain"
Waray waray...che parznovthas beh??" ( Everyone is fine..Btw did you recognize me?)
Heheheheh...(Damn no...)..haan uncle ..parznovum" ( Yeah recognized )
Acha kus chus beh?? "..( Ok so who am I..??)
Hehheeh ( God plzzzz help me..S say something..arre whose uncle is he??...)..hehehe...Priyanka didi's dad right ( who Prinyanka..which Priyanka..dont ask) "
Uncle with a surprised look..."
Hatay kusi Priyanka....beh chus Boytoth.."..[ What Priyanka ..which Priyanka...I am Boytoth..](For those who are not kashmiris..Boytoth is a is not like Boy is Boytoth...hmmm a different name ...pronounced in a different way..kashu people will know..what I am talking abt..;))

Ohhh acha acha..sorry thoda confuse ho gayi thee.."
Hatay confuse chak gasan..tohy bambi wayl chu sory keh mashraavaan..wal wayn..naal muth teh myooth karay..."..(Confused !!! from Bombay forget everything..come here will give you a hug..)
In kashimiris..hugging each and every relative is of utmost you can imagine our halat..when you have to standup every now and then and keep hugging people...its damn tiring..and you get programmed...Smile..Stand ...hug..sit (In a Recursive mode)

In the end when our stage "performance" was over..I gave a sigh of relief that now nothing could go wrong.We atlast went for having our long awaited dinner ..suddenly my mom came with 2 gentlemen
Everything went fine na !!"...asked my mom
oh yes.."
Oh btw did you meet them..they were saying Dimple Didi ko ab tak nahi mile.."
Since I was still in my recursive before hearing the whole story..I got ready to give my 2 brothers..who wanted to meet thr Dimple didi a robotic hug..when suddenly my mom said
Hay hay...Yem che waaaaz aamat"...( Heyyy...they are the cooks)

Phewww Thank God didnt do anything....this only meant that still anything could I said..Receptions are like reality shows...any thing can happen at anytime...I hope you people too are successful in keeping your silly mistakes...and popatness off camera..All the Best.. :)

( PS : All characters and names used in this post are fictitious in nature..and boss in case you find some similarity with your character or name......then be happy with the 2 min fame that you are getting because of me..and promise that you will write a post and make me the heroine in that ..:) )

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Jab We Met...

People who have met me know that I talk a lot..I got this habit since the time I was 2 yrs old..yup... from that time onwards.. I have been talking non stop...Sometimes on a topic and sometimes without anyyyy topic...Phewww!! But there are times when you can't do even things you are very good at..and same thing happened to me...
yes my dear happened " Jab we Met "...I mean when I met " S " for the first time...

My parents were worried about my not because I had any was because the astrologer broke out a secret that I AM A MANGALIK...yeahh..(not that there is any big deal about can refer to my discussion on it from my earlier post Duhh !! ..............). Now the point here is that the astro uncle was quite clear that kundli had to be matched properly ..and my damned kundli was not matching with anyone..not even with the tree ... hero of my Mangalik blog .
Then suddenly one day one kundli came ...PERFECT MATCH..!!!...(Touch wood Touchwood..
Adding to my touchwood touchwood...I will add a song too..Jammu truck driver special..

Buri nazar waale
Tu sao saal jeeye
Aur jab tak tu jiye
Tere bacche tera khoon peeye

waah waah waah waah

The boy was S...very qualified...MBA from a very reputed college..who had always stood Ist in his class...and where I was concerned...for me...I had always stood Ist in the queue while going back home from school..yes always....:)) !!!

15th Dec 07 was decided as the date when I would for the first time meet a guy for shaadi (Marriage ) talks..
That day ..believe me I was not at all tense..I was feeling parents were more tense than me...
" Vayn karze na badtameezi .."..( " Now dont misbehave over there") instructed my granny as if I was a ruffian kid going to meet my school principal..

" Don't worry granny dear, it will be fine...and mom plzzz...if I show signs of disinterest to you...plzz save me..just check out the status after maybe 20-30 mins...if he is boring me to death ..then do anything..use any excuse but plzz you will have to save me "
For me it was very simple...if the boy throws attitude and shows off his qualifications...I will show him my attitude..but in case the boy is good..then I would have to make him say yes for me..(Boss I cant get so many leaves from office..) so it had to be now or never ...

15 th Dec..I took a HALFDAY from office ..(see I didn't get a leave that day also ..and you are thinking why it had to be now or never)..

SCENE 1 :Mom and me waiting for them to turn up..
SCENE 2 : Entry of S, his mom and a common Aunty
SCENE 3: Both of us trying to know each other as much as we could...Now when we were talking with each thing was clear,he had done all types of R&D about me...hmmm..he was ek dum well prepared..where I was concerned it was a usual case for me ...attending exam without any preparation .
My eagle eye vision and Chacha Chaudhary wala tez dimaag se I could make out that he was a very good boy and very down to earth..I don't remember any instance when he tried to show off in front of me...that meant only one thing...Mission SAY YES had to be started:

That meant giving a biiiiiiiiig smile after regular intervals...showing off my 32 teeth...[Now coz I already look a little like Ashwarya Rai and hmmm ... a little like Kareena...then you can imagine the effect my smile would have on him..sorry I seriously don't like to point this out..but don't have any other modest..thanku thanku..( Ok...those who know the reality can continue with the next line)]...and would have to use a little bit of my acting talent..

As far as he was concerned he wanted to show how much effort he had put in knowing me... After every 5 mins he would shoot " Yet Another tricky " question at me...and I was not prepared with even one answer....I didn't know what to to ask..and what to answer..:P

" So what are your expectations from your husband"
"Hmmm expectations...oh yes ..many expectations..He has to be caring, sweet, I need security in he has to be well settled.."
" and and hmmmm nothing..."
Dratt I was not even able to cook any more expectations on spot
" Are you serious ???...these are the only expectations?? I mean other girls have a list of it"
Ooops !!! what I wish I could have a peep into these lists..may be I was forgetting something..I had to act confident ...had to do something...Ahhhhh !!! Acting Lesson no 2, dialogue no 242 would have to be used here ...
" Hmmm...other girls may have many expectations...BUT I... am a very simple girl....who does not have many expectations...coz expectation leads to unnecessary misery and suffering "

I saw him yawning like anything...ooopppsss ...I have always had this problem of overacting...dialogue no 242 had always been a failure..
S tried to change the topic after hearing this answer...I think he was shocked and didn't want a female version of Buddha ..

" What all things do you like"
" I like to sing , dance, talk,read novels.."
" and??"
" and...and many things... I .. I like everything.."
Why why does he include AND after hearing every answer...shucks...!!!

"I have are a big time kanjoos"
" Whatt kanjoos me???...who told u that.??."

" well got to know through my sources..and that too you never used to share your tiffin??"

NOT SHARING MY TIFFIN???!!!!! was then that I realized that he had seen my orkut profile also...and these friends of mine had not written any good thing about was all about my kanjoosi..).

" Heheheh...these friends of mine don't have any other work...they have written all wrong things about me..actually mei kanjoos nahi thee...wo log confuse ho gaye ..hehheeh...wo jhooth bol rahe hain...mei thodi si hi thee..ab mei theek hun.."

" hahahah..oh I can also ask should not be a one sided has to be more interactive"
" Yes sir..ohh i mean yes S "
Now I thought even I should ask I copied all his questions
" Now you tell me What do u like??"
" ehm ehm...this was my are asking my questions.."
" yaaaa..coz I am not prepared..thought of copying it from you"
" ok ..but only once..after this you have to ask your own questions.."
" Ohh sure.."..
I showed off my 32 beautiful teeth..and hypnotized him in such a way..that I copied all his questions..and he didnt point out even once..:D

" Come lets go out for a walk..." S said after sometime
" Oh sure..."....Heheheh now was my chance to earn some extra points I thought..

While having a walk we talked about so many things..(many secret talks that I will not tell you for free...)

" Hmm had a great time today with you..I will drop you home"...said S romantically
Yesssss mission was proving to be successful... Thanku thanku
" Yeah same here...but need to go to my uncles place now..everyone is waiting there"
" No probs..I will drop you there..."
BLUSH BLUSH..." hmmm ok..if you insist.." ..I spoke like a new sharmili bride..
We walked and talked...we talked and walked...while talking and walking I got so engrossed..that after sometime I just didnt know which road to take...We had suddenly reached a place ..which I had never seemed like a mini how to tell him..what would he think about me...Mannnnn !!!! I got so pissed off ...I had no clue what to do...
" Hey do you by any chance know where we are??" I asked him
" No why are you asking me..I dont even stay in Mumbai"
" Ohh good..coz even I dont know..but dont worry...let me just call up and find my uncles address"
"ok"...surprisingly he seemed cool about it...
On the other hand my parents were mad at me.." Kya goyyy kya asay sochaaan"(Wts the matter wid wt will he think)..
" Psst Mom please dont scold me..plz tell me the address..I m lost"..I whispered
Atlast I got the address ..I gave S a biiiiig smile..." Got the address... now we will leave"
" Ok.."...
ok !!!!again just ok..may be he was having some after thoughts..may be I was going to get rejected..I looked at him nervously...he seemed was then that I realized... he was still in hypnotized state...phewwww...good for me !!!..that meant he would never remember half the things..
We took a rick and went directly to my uncles place ..where all my cousins were hanging from the window grill just to have a glimpse..introduced him to everyone and bade him bye..

Hmmmm that day if you see we were together for more than 6 hrs...In the end it was a YES from my side...(Clap..clap for me...)..and my SAY YES mission was successful...he also said yes...:)..( Yeahhhh thanku thanku.... another round of applause ).

P.S :In case you need tips on SAY YES...or hypnotizing lessons ( BEWARE: It is effective only till courtship period...not after marriage..;)..)..or may be some acting lessons ( With free over acting tips) ..u can always approach me...:)