Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Alu chips, pakodas Etc...

It was traditional day in my Bank.I was very tired trying to manage my saree..which was sadly getting stuck with every movement of my chair. ( You can understand it was just the second time I was wearing a saree...still learning to carry it off !!!...:) )

" Mayydam (supposed to be madam )...majha number ikde ala kaa??"
Before I could reply anything..his phone rang :

Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan Tan
Bilanchi nagin nighali..tan tan
Nagoba dolayla lagla

(I am not very good in Marathi ..but I think it means..the snake has come out of his hole and has started to dance..I mean something like that... sooo funny ..;))

Me : Hmmm ..(Acknowledging the fact)
" Mayydam mera naam Tantya aahe ..myera acct madhe kahe tari gadbhad hote aahe" (please read it the way I have written..with Marathi accent )
Me : kyu kya hua ?

Mr Tantya :"pleaje aap dekho...some problem..charges cut hota"
Me: " Ok let me check"

Concerned and caring that I am for everyones feelings...I tried to sort out the matter as fast as I could...(honestly I was much concerned about my saree..and was in a real hurry before any future disaster could take place)
Now imagine the scene..Myself concentrating totally into the transactions made by Mr Tantya and trying to find the "Mysterious charges" in his account and on the other hand there was Mr Tantya and one of his chamchas. It seemed as if Mr Tantya had not been allowed to talk since ages and he was trying to find a scape goat for that..coz after every 10 min he would interrupt and provide me with some unwanted information.

"Mayydam aapko maalum mera alu ka bujness hai..."
" Alu??" ( That was a very obvious reaction coz I was not expecting him to tell me his biodata)
"Alu mayydam....alu...wo uska hum log chips aur pakoda banate hain..aap nahi khaate kya ?? "
The person accompanying him said in his monotonous voice.." Potatoe Mayddam potatoe"
Me:" Ya ya I know alu..acha acha uska business hai"
Mr Tantya
: " Haan ani kaanda ka bhi bujness hai "
Stupid me again : " Kanda??"
" Kanda mayydam ..kanda...wo jiska pakoda bhi banta ahe...aap nahi khaati kya..Jain hain??"
Now before the companion could open his mouth I jumped

" Nahi nahi mujhe pata hai kanda..onion na...haan khaate hain..Adcha acha uska bhi business hai"
Mr Tantya : " Mayydam aapan marathi aahe ka ??"
" hmmm...nahi kashmiri"
" haaaaaaan!!!! ..arre mayydam aap poora kashmiri hi lagta hai...kashmiri bahut ache hote hain..bechara log ke saath bahut boora hua (witha verrry sad expression)...aap poora kashmiri dhol ke jaise lagte hain"
" Dhol???"

Now I was seriously taken aback..dhol me?...do I look like a dhol..I mean for people who have not seen me..I look a bit like Kareena kapoor, a bit like Rani mukherjee..and a biiiiiiiit like priety zinta ....wait a second did I forget Ashwarya Rai...!!!
( For those who have already seen me and know that I look like Lalita Pawar's lil sister...SHUT UP and read the next line..)

The chamcha again " Dhol nahi ..Doll..gudiya "
Fortunately by this time I was successful in detecting the Root cause of his
" mysterious charges "...

" Mayydam poore bank mei aap ho jo mera doubt solve ki...mei aapko bahut saara alu chips hai na uska packet doonga..mera uska bujness hai "
Chips packet ..woww..you cant imagine I was soo happy..chips packet ..may be some pakodas too...yummm yumm...I acted and became extra sweet. Suddenly I stopped calling him Mr Tantya and started calling him Uncle Uncle.." Arre nahi Uncle isme kya badi baat thi"..and giving a expression of YE-TOH-MERA-FARZ-THA.
" Nahi mayydam..mei jarooooor laaoonga"
Time wasted but not quite I was going to get Alu chips packet...I told this incident to my friends Shiny and Srinu..both were happy and super excited..each of them made their own plans to pitch Tantya uncle for their share of Alu chips and pakodas.
We made story's of how uncle would come with packets in his hand...and we would dance :

" Tofa Tofa Tofa Tofa Laya Laya Laya.."

Wowwww !!! ..When would he come..Everyday we would wait for Tantya uncle to come..every day we would save some place in our stomachs for Tantya uncles chips..may be he would come.
AFter 1 week atlast he came. Shiny sent a instant message to me..

" Arre uncle aa gaye.. uncle aa gaye..he is coming to u only...plzz do remember my share"
Srini on the other hand " My share is 50% .. do remember..:))) "
Me to both " Who r u 2..i dont remember being ur frnd..:P "
And simultaneous message from both of them " TRAITOR !!! "

" Hello Uncle "
" Hello Mayydam...dekho mujhe yaad tha mei laya aapke liye"
Actress me trying to act as if I dont remember " Kya uncle?? "
" arre mayydamm yaad nahi ..Alu chips..pakoda..kanda"
" arre dont tell me aap laaye??"
" hann mayyadamm...aye Ganpat chal alu laa"
My attention now totally towards Ganpat.Suddenly everything happened so quickly that I didnt quite understand.. I got a instant message from Srini..
" somebody didnt want to share..gud for that person...hahhahaha"
" wt??"
and theneverything became clear...in front of me stood Ganpat with a real big bag ..
" ye Bhori mei kya hai?? "
" Alu aur kanda mayydamm"
" alu aur kanda??"
" haan maydamm jiska alu chips bhi banta hai aur kanda ka pakoda bhi banta hai"

" kanda??...mujhe samajh nahi aa raha"
Ganpat again breaking the silence.." kyu madam aap kanda nahi khaate ..ap Jain hai?? "
Now controlling my irritation..."Arre kya aap jain jain kar rahe ho...mei jain nahi hun...uncle aapne toh chips bola tha na SHAYAD"
" nahi mayyadam..mera bujness alu ani kanda ka hai..chips aap banao ghar pe.."
Now I tried to hide my dissappointment "ohhh heheheh acha acha uncle mujhe nahi chahiye ye bhori"
Damn bhori full of potatoes..just imagine leaving office with that bhori on my shoulders...
srini gave me a wicked smile...Shiny came running towards me.." what happened what about my share..? "
" Your share?? ..he gave me a bag of potatoes...and said ghar pe alu chips banao.."
We had a hearty laugh that day..:)

Next day while having lunch we overheard X saying to Y..You know there is this Tantya uncle he has got Chips business..I and shiny looked at each other..winked and said all the best to X..though she still does not knmow the reason..I am sure the D day will come soon in her life too..;)

(PS : This had the folowing charachters

main Lead : Myself
Actor in Negative Role : Tantya uncle and his chamcha
Extra's : Shiny and Srinu ( Yeahhhhhh atlast You have got a role...15 minutes fame...;P )