Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Laga Ki Chaay Pe Bulaya Hai

For those who visit my blog often..its a very weird title, but you will come to know the reason after some time.It was a war against my very dignified soul and my cheap soul. Cheapness won and the result was this post .

After office when I was leaving for home one of my colleagues who stays near my place offered to give me a lift. Now I don't usually talk much to him. But a lift ..cool..I started calculating
Bus Fare : Rs 15
Auto Fare till house : Rs 11 ( why is Rs 11 Minimum charge for Navi Mumbai people..when others have to pay only Rs 9..thinking of complaining..seriously...my cheapness starts again..;) )
Total : Rs 26
Motorbike lift Fare : Rs 0
Hmm pretty tempting I said OK and hopped on the bike ... Mistake No 1

About this guy (As usual I will call him Mr X ).. he is a very quiet person and I used to think he was a geek of some sort .I remember he once sent a SMS to me, it took me 2 days to understand the damned message ..and I still have my doubts whether I have fully understood the quote..;)

We reached home .The poor guy had come all the way to drop me, just as a formality I asked him to come inside..I mean you usually do it right.."Plz do come in "..when you actually don't mean it..but then he agreed instantly and said how he had always heard from my colleagues that I had a beautiful house. Surprised a bit I welcomed him inside. (Welcome ??...hehehhe )...Mistake No 2

He entered my house at 7 pm.Got introduced to my Mom and my Granny, became quite comfortable. After this I don't know what happened, but all the conceptions that I had had about him of being quiet and shy got blown away..(My remaining colleagues who are right now thinking that "Naaah!! He is a very shy and quiet person"... girlsss take him home..then you will surely come to know ) .
This boy..Once he started talking ..there was just no way to stop him .

Mr X : " I was in Xyz dept and then my Boss said blah blah and then I Thought...This is it...!! "
Chorus ( Mom ,Granny and me ) : " Tch tch then..?? "

Mr X :"..and then in USA..I thought..India is my home country..it needs me!!"
Chorus :" Waaah..!!.. very good " ( Huh ...Live Swades Movie..;))

Mr X :"and Blah.. blah... My native place is Xyz and then we go for walk in the morning ..blah blah "
By now we were half dead..
Chorus : " Yawn ...good good..."

Now's my favorite part..(but no offense)
Mr X : " Hehehe no no no...I don't eat Non veg food....ya..and I belong to the vanshaj of Shivaji.. "
Chorus : " Shivaji?? "
Mr X : " yes aunty ...Shivaji the Great..he was my great great grandfather..yes Aunty when there was a attack..blah blah and more blah.."

I don't know what he was trying to do..I mean if he was trying to entertain us..we were just not entertained..

My Granny who is a mimic and quite humorous ( but she can speak only kashmiri)..was now totally fed up and her comments had started ( you just cannot escape that )..
"Hatsa vayn kar nereey ya shivaji ?? em zan kheow son kal "
(Translation: When will Mr Shivaji go?? He has nearly eaten our brains )

Mr X : " What aunty..Hey Dimple what did she say??
I thought hard and blurted
Me : "That ...that no wonder you are Shivaji's grandson..You two have similarities..hmmm...lookwise "
Mr X : " Ya ya I know ...even my mom says that..bas ek beard ki kami hai ..hahahaha.."
We looked at each other..
Chorus : "ehm ehm ...hahahha.."

Even hints like " Beta khaana khaake jao !!" where not working.. we were getting answers like " Nahi nahi mei toh ghar pe hi khaaoonga.."..helloooooo then what are you waiting for ..go home no..!!
Atlast at 9.30 pm he thought of going home for having his Din Din..:)
Now I thought the trouble was over, but I was wrong..
Now here comes a twist.. Emotion ,Drama and whole cloud of suspicion ....target --> Me
My Mom ,Granny and by now even dad.." Dimple he talks a lot !!!! "
Me : " Ya I know..but he is a very shareef boy "
Mom: " Hmmm....why was he tellling us about his native place..??"
Dad: "and about his parents..??"
Granny : " and about shivaji's relation with him ??"
Me : " Don't know..I think ..lack of topic or something !! "
Dad: " Hmmm...Very talkative really...but why did you bring him home.? "
Me : " Formality..nothing else.."

Suddenly I felt like a terrorist being interrogated ..and sharp brains don't need many hints..I could smell what was cooking ...I defended myself..

Me : " Heyy plzz ...don't get me wrong..I don't even talk to him....Eeeesshh aapko kya laga mene chaay vaay pe bulaya hai ( you got a hint why I have named my blog LAGA KI CHAAY PE BULAAYA HAI..hmmm ...I am so sure everybody got it..sharp brains don't need much expalanation..:))
Mom and Dad: " Ofcourse Ofcourse we know..we do trust you....We were just asking.."
Me :"Ohh Thank God !!"

After 10 min
Dad: " Dimple ....Vaise he stammers a bit na..."
Me : " ..not again..!! "


Manish said...

ha ha ha.....
Bataiye log ghar aauye mehmaan ke liye man hi man aisa sochte hain wo bhi jab ki Rs 26 ka shuddh munafa hua ho.

Waise What will u do if the guy offers u lift again ...26X2X30X12......:p

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

LOL dimple...super classic post girl and aptly titled!!

whoa...just can NOT stop laughing on this one!! hahahaha....

>>phew<<...well now we know why our parents taught us 'cheapness is not a good thing'... LOL...you paid quite a heavy price for this one girl...!!

hahaha...trust me I can not stop laughing!! ;)

By the way...how was office after that day with him?? LOL

Wanderer said...

cool... nice one! i loved reading and laughing over it, totally forgetting that i have an exam in a few hours... and i should say good bye now.. and thanks for sharing this ishtory!

p.s. - if my granny were at ur place, she would have cooked special punjabi pakoras with extra laal mirchi for him... baaki woh khud sambhaalta!

Ashu said...

Hey Dimps bohot dino ke bad,
That was very nice
quite entertaining
in fact quite a lot
ha ha ha

Ajith said...

Dimple, Lagta hain ki yeh ladka phir bhi lift offer karega :P

Excellent writeup, wonder what his reaction will be when he reads it :)

Dimple said...

@ mainsh: arre nahi manishji..sabke liye aisa nahi sochti..per ye toh hadd hi tha..baut baat karta tha..:P..per u r rt 26*2*30*12 kaafi zyaade hain..aapne toh soch mei daal diya..;)

@nabila:Thanks yaar i thot ppl wud b like "ewww wt a LS (low standard) title "..ya got a offer again..but now i make excuses like " no going to meet a friend "..he is dumb doesnt understand quickly..:P

@wanderer :heyy cool idea..wil surely use it next time..bas pakode banana seekh leti hoon pehle..:P (vasey jale pakodon se bhi baat ban sakti hai na..!! )

@ashu : haan yaar time hi nahi tha..vaise thanks

@ajith : ya u r rt..but i know wt his reaction will b ..he will come to me and say " hey nice post ..who was that person ?? "...:P

Vandana said...

good one :) hey by any chance do i know this person?

p.s. moral: kanjoosi chhod do! ;)

Dimple said...

@ vandana : oh yes u do know him..he used to sit wr yoku sits..:P..no more hints..wt if HE really reads this..;)

Neeraj Munshi said...

"Hatsa vayn kar nereey ya shivaji ?? em zan kheow son kal "

Damn Funny. if i would have been in your place i would have started laughing so hard if someone told me that in kashmiri.

Mohit Bindroo said...


Couldn't help myself laughing lod in the office ....really a humorous one....ath chi wanan

There is nothn like a free lunch in this world.....hahahaha

Dimple said...

@niraj : ya even i wud hav..but heyy i m a banker..i know how to control my laughter..:)

@Mohit : ya rt..poz che vanan thrs nothing like free lunch..;)

Sonit said...

Serves u rite Dimple....u calculated the profit of 26rs and accepted the lift...good he ate ur brains ,not jst urs...ur Mom's and Granny's....hey bt i liked tht Shivaji wala part...it must be somethin yaar....waise in Hyd every 2nd person u meet in the old city says that he is related to the Nizams....similarities???

Dimple said...

@sonit: chup mote..u get happy wen ever i m tortured..hope u r caught by one of those nizam ka rishtedaar..;)

engennious said...

Good one...You are improving day by day bcos of my training....
Jst Kidding...

I cant even think of writing in this sort of humorous way...

By the way, abhi tak tu teri, as i put it , Chindigiri se baaz nahi aayi....26 Rs...

But seriously an Interesting one....

Dimple said...

@engennious: Ur traning ya rt..I learnt the art of being cheap from you only...mote..;)

Kokonad Sinha said...

*shocked with disbelief*
Beta khaana khaake jao is a tact to drive one out? :O


Hilarious post, btw. :)

Dimple said...

@Kokonad sinha : Harsh reality...!!

Kokonad Sinha said...

Yeah... sigh. Now I have to think twice whenever someone else tells me that.
Somehow the idea of free food makes all forms of conscience, passive.


Thanks for dropping by, though.

Dimple said...

@ kokonad : heyy this is nothing if u want i will give u a list of many other ways.."100 ways to shoo the guest away"...;)

Kokonad said...

Well, I shall be watching your blog from the corner of my right eye. :)
Hope to spot more of such delectable things to read!

Dimple said...

@kokonad : yup more to cum..:)..

Aneesha Pillai said...

That was way too hilarious...ROFTL!!!

Kokonad said...

Hi Dimple! Sorry for the delay in the reply to your comment in my blog (the article on Theology). :) Thanks for the input, it was very insightful.

Frankly speaking, the post was very poorly worded. I have actually deleted it because it does strike quite a patronizing tone with respect to understanding a few sentiments. Thanks! :) Will drop by again!

Kabba said...

Bet that Bus+Rick ride didnt seem so costly now? right??

Singleton said...

:))) that was very very funny :)

Dimple said...

@kokonad : dont tell me u deleted it..nahiiiii that was a gud post yaar..those wr ur thots..tell me did sumbody ask u to delete..naam batao uska..

@kabba: arre no ..now i think its quite reasonable..;)

@singleton : hey thanks a lot

Kokonad said...

Ha ha! I am flattered. :) Well, you keep writing, and I will keep coming by!
And I can't thank you enough for linking me on your blog too! :) If we ever meet, toh meri taraf se ice cream. Thou shalt be Queen for that day.

R2K said...

: )

Dimple said...

@kokonad: Heheheh thanks !!!
@r2k : ok i seriously dodnt know how to revert on this..toh here goes from my side..;)

Smini said...

LOL.... Dimple.. I loved this........