Sunday, November 19, 2006

Frustration Unlimited



Day :
Saturday evening
Time : 6:30 Pm

Silence every where..and then there was a sudden havoc in my bank,especially amongst my colleagues..I heard them whisper "
arre Taj Iyer is here !!!...u handle him ..u handle him"..pointing towards each other...I was sure this saturday would be a tough one , coz Mr Taj Iyer in bank would not leave without meeting me.

Flashback :

I still remember..my initial days in office ; the same havoc , same whispers , before I could just lean and satisfy my curiosity of seeing him , somebody from the other side said :"
Excuse me madam !Do you look after fixed deposits"

Me : ya
Person : ahhh !! dont you know how to calculate simple interest also??
Me : simple interest??
Person : ya you have given me 8 Rs less than what i should have got ..whaaat is the problem ..I dont get it ..why did you give me less money..half money you put in your pocket or what!!
Me : It is the system sir ..system calculates the interest..not me..
Person : My dear girl you have made the system.. .now you have to give me the money..otherwise I will have to talk to your branch manager..she knows me very
well Ms Mamo Rani is a great person ... She will surely help me.


And off he went.From that day till now , I have been the lucky girl to get his special attention and all his "adulations".

Not that I have a problem with all elderly people or should I put it this way that all elderly people don't have a problem with me. I remember this very sweet old man who always used to come to me and then one day he told me how he was looking for a bride for his grandson and that I was perfect for it. I thought he was quite sweet ( obviously it would have been sweeter if his grandson would have told me the same thing ..;) )
But this Taj Iyer seemed to have all the qualities of becoming a modern time Hitler.All his visits to the bank involved a special visit to me and my Branch manager Mammo Rani ( Name changed ..you never know ..may be my boss and the old man have spy's in blog world too!!!).

From that day.. till now.. my story with him has been more like a block buster movie..and has had every thing .. suspense,romance,trauma, tragedy,emotion...you ask for it and you will get it..

Return from flashback

This time as expected he came to me said "
Excuse me " . I tried not to see him , to act as if I had become deaf in one day...but then ..
"
Ms Dimble.. Dimble ..I am talking to you..I have a very important assignment for you"
When I looked at him and 100 fixed deposit slips in his hand, I was sure trouble was not far away.

Taj Iyer : I want you to make 100 fixed deposits with my grandson Naaj as the nominee

I checked his account and saw already existing nominee Baaj .

Me : Theres an existing nominee in your account...some Mr Baaj..
Taj Iyer : Dont take his name.. Baaj is not a good person ..wo baaj nahi aata..he is a cheat..I
will put Naaj as the nominee uspe mujhe Naaj hai..!!!

Me : oh I see... so you want to remove Baaj from nomination ..
Taj Iyer : what are you saying ..whaat is your problem ..just put Naaj's name ..no need to delete Baaj..dont put your nose in my family matters ..I can solve them myself!!!!

I thought it was better that before proceeding with any further discussion .. I talk to my branch Operation's Manager ..Mr Yoku..
Oblivious to what was going on he was having a long discussion on phone. .He sits just behind my work place. I whispered "
Yoku ..Yoku "

Yoku : haalllo haan boliye
Me : yoku its me ..aap phone pe nahi ho
Yoku : haan dimpaal boliye

I hid my face behind the fixed deposit ( fd ) slip and showed him the name written on it ..
"SIR... TAJ IYER AAYA HAI "

Mr Yoku is a very friendly and helping person. He hid his face too with that fd slip and said "Mamo Rani ke paas bhejo...budde ko "

Drat!!! now I was gone.

I have always felt Taj Iyer has a special liking for Mamo Rani. Why else will a old man of his age (100 or may be 110 yrs old ..) come to bank for small small things. I even overheard him telling her how his wife was planning to give him a divorce..hmmmmmmm dont know what's cooking..but as Taj iyer said I shouldn't put my nose into his personal matters....per kya karein control nahi hota..;) .
There was a long discussion between Mamo and Taj followed by false commitments from her to him, and suddenly from no where he again came to me.
"
See you said this cannot be done..Mamoji says this will be done..and tomorrow my 100 fds will be made "
Damn it ..who is going to do that..I tried to explain it to him.."Tomorrow!!..there are 100 fds..it will take atleast 3 days".
"
You know what I think you are trying to be the BM of this branch...but let me tell you some thing ..U ARE NOT MAMOJI ".
Shit !!! did he really think I was trying to be Mamo Rani......why would I try that..I am not ugly , I am not disfigured, I don't have a bad dressing sense ( Multi color shirt and cheap cargo pants..having 6 pockets in office!!!) . Pissing me off , he went away from the bank. I went to my BM thinking she would help me, but I was wrong .She acted as if she was not responsible for anything..as if Taj was my personal issue. Usually I am a very patient person , hardly get angry..but that day even I came to know my limits ; Taj Iyer had easily played with my emotions. One of my colleagues came to me and asked "
you look sad..are you ok ". I tried to answer but don't know what happened , a sudden leakage started from my eyes and before I knew the leakage had started from my nose also..and I was quite relieved that I had a hanky with me ( which i usually forget at home ). It was very embarrassing for me , I tried to control my emotions but the result was bad... I was smiling and crying at the same time. I can never forget that day!!!!!!

The next day he came again and went directly to Mamo Madam , the fd was not made yet (because it really takes 3 days for that to get activated). Then he came to me and for the first time he was smiling ..he said " Dimble you were right , the FD cannot be made in 1 day , today even your boss said the same thing..she doe not know anything...she changes her answer everytime...dont know who made her the BM...This Mammo Rani or Shabbo Rani ..or what ever is her name was saying it will be made after 3 days..she should have told this yesterday only ..I dont have energy to come here every day.From now on I will approach you only , she does not know anything ".
I pinched myself to check whether this was a dream .
owwww!!!!...guess I pinched too hard. It was reality ..yeepeeeee!!!! ..I was so happy and surprised .Come on he wasn't that bad afterall. A grandfather like figure. :)
I saw my BM peeping from her workplace and once Taj was gone , she began interrogating me

BM :
what did he say ..was he talking about me
Me :
errr ..no just a thing here and there
I didnt have the heart to tell her that her only fan was now no longer her admirer.
I was too happy that atlast the nightmare was over , atlast Mr Taj was my friend .
Wednesday morning ,
"
Dimble..Dimble my name is not written on the FD certificate...do you have anything against me????????? "
Return of Mr Taj Iyer....Here I go again...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Stupid Cupid

Saw him through the corner of my eyes..not that this was the first time i had seen him; he has been a frequent visitor..goes were ever i go..seems to be following me. This time again he gave me his sweet but wicked smile..i knew the best thing to do was to ignore him..but then as usual he removed his arrow..the damned arrow..which has always had a temporary effect on me.Yes, the cupid was here for the 100th time . This made me think ..either Mr cupid doesn't have any work to do or he has got some targets to achieve for which he has made me a permanent client in his list. Last time when he had visited me ,the effect had been for 1 full year..Suddenly I had become a pure vegetarian. But after 1 year when the effect was gone..and I had realised that that boy was a good for nothing.. I feasted myself with all types of non veg things which humans can ever think of..!!..;)
So here I was again trying to ignore him and telling myself " naah...this time its quite impossible" But again I fell in for his tricks !!!
Let me start from the beginning :

It was tuesday morning ...My place had changed..so was trying to adjust to the new comp and stuff.I was bored in office..didnt have much work to do.. Usually when this happens , I send IP messages to my friends..( for not so intelligent people IP messenger is used to transfer data from one person to the other person in the same organisation ..but for people like me..it is used to send crappy fwds, good morning ,good evening messages..;)....)
So this time also I did the routine thing and sent a very crappy fwd to all the people present in the list.Suddenly came a message from a unknown person . His profile said " I AM HOT " in bold letters..

I AM HOT ( IMH) : hey who is this
Bored Me ( BM ) : dont bother it was a multi cast message
IMH : ohh ok ..but who is this
BM : dimple..and u??
IMH : well u can c ..a hot guy
BM : hot guy..do u know ..ur profile is visible to every one..wt if some
HR guy see's this ...u will b screwed..
IMH : as in ??
BM : y dont u put ur name thr..its quite dangerous...wt will ur boss think
IMH : naah nothing will happen ..and by the way..they know i m hot..wt can
any one do??
BM : godd..don't u think u r tooo modest..
IMH : yup...;)
BM : hmm
IMH : hmmmm
BM : hmmmmmmmm
IMH : yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....

Whole day we talked. But he didnt tell me his name or the floor on which he worked.

That was the first time I chatted to him.Everyday in canteen..I would see every other boy with suspicion.Though i Knew he was a mad boy having loads of wrong information's about himself and may b some attitude problem;every good looking guy i saw in office ..would bring a butterfly in my stomach..."what if he really is verrryyyyy handsome..??"
Everyday we would talk ..We had talked about every thing.. movies,actors,politics,astrology (ohh by the way he was a Scorpio...CANCERIAN AND SCORPIO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER..so u can understand y v used to talk so much)...he knew Japanese,he was a writer,he was cool..he was everything that i wasn't. He was perfect ..JUST perfect..and I found myself falling head over heels for him.

Technology has reached new heights, but even it has got internal flaws..these types of flaws are fully present in my organisation. One day when i got a message from him ..instead of his
" I AM HOT " profile..came his employee number. I squeaked a bit..made a employee search. Out came the name "Pallavi subramaniam"...(Name changed)
ME TO MYSELF : "Please god plzz let his name be subramaniam and not pallavi..plzz.."..But I knew this consolation was in vain.
In the next instance .." thank god i never told him I liked him..otherwise.. it would have been so embarrassing!!!"
I was furious with cupid..just to complete his targets he had used me as a scape goat...
All the time I thought he was a smart boy..but he was not a HE but a SHE... i was not amused..!!!

This time I thought I wuold do the same thing to him/her ,but then I dropped the idea..

IMH : heyy babes how u doing??
ME : Heyy...good..well i was thinking ,since i dont know ur name ..y not call u subbu or pallu
IMH : I dont get it ..y will u call me subbu or pallu
ME : coz i think thats a good name for u
IMH : ok spill out.. wts going on here
ME : u tell me u fool...cheat..i know u r a girl...
IMH : and y do think so??
ME : I saw ur emp no...now plzz stop it..i just cant stand this joke anymore
IMH : heyy u r quite smart
ME : that toh i m ...

That day I met her for the first time..she showed me her work place ..her newly straightened hair..she was a sweet heart. I had thought I would give her a thrash on her face ..but all I could do was to give her a friendly smile..and a life long commitment of being her friend..thanks for being my friend dear...






Sunday, September 10, 2006

Trip To Paradise

Chapter 1
Flashback

Turning on the TV this Sunday morning , it was the same old news

"Seven persons, including two special police officers (SPOs), were killed and four civilians injured in separate incidents in Jammu and Kashmir during the past 24 hours, officials said on Saturday."

This news brought about old memories of the time when I had gone to kashmir with my family...

Day : 18th june
Decided place of vacation : Jammu


During the whole trip thoughts into Dimple's mind :Look at that , really mumbai is quite developed ...this place is sucha gaon (village).. What am i going to do in jammu , all cousins have already left the place..



Day : 19 june

Reached Jammu and was sitting in one corner ( had nothing to do..) . Though I must confess, the amount of importance that you get there..is mind blowing. Special food is prepared for you..plus people refer to you by saying things like " bombay ki dimple "...and stuff..(which obviously used to make me feel like a bollywood actress )

Chapter 2
Sudden Plan

Day : 20 june

With half eyes open and curls in an unkempt state , I got the shock of my life when I heard people of my family making a plan of going to Kashmir.
" Now come on you cant do that....i mean its so scary ..everyday there is a blast..its not safe..naah i dont think its a good idea"
"ok " said my mom " you stay here ..we r going..happy???"
Since my early childhood days she has been using this trick or should I say blackmailing me in this way...and as history repeats itself..I again fell in for it..
The plan was made , packing was done..and we were off to our mini vacation..
What followed was an experience that would last for a life time.

Kashmir's beauty is mind blowing but filled with people who stare at you if they come to know you are a kashmiri pandit. Well yes that is a fact . At the back of your mind you will always have a feeling that something will go wrong. But all these feelings take a back seat in front of the scenic surroundings.



RAMBHAN

PARIMAHAL


SHALIMAR

In this trip we came across the place were we used to stay ..the place is totally ruined now.





From my trip I realised one thing that kashmir is really a paradise on earth and its beauty uncomparable ,but this beauty is being tarnished by the terrorists. Come on people lets get together and try to fight these damn people who are trying to make kashmir a part of their country .

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Unbounded Stupidity

World is full of Multi-talented people...and yes all these people are a regular vistor in my bank..these are the people who can talk and bug u at the same time (without much effort ..see !! so much talent). Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet such a person.

Person : Madam my wife wants to change her name after marriage..wt sud i do??
Me : sure sir plz bring these documents....(even before i could complete...)
Person : ya ya i have all the relevant documents...jaldi gimme the forms vorms
Me : I will give ya the form but can i see the documents...hope u have brought registered marriage certificate
Person : NO NO I HAB BROUGHT BETTER PROOFS THAN THAT
Me : Ok.. is it...Is it a gazzatte copy
Person : ye ke cheej hai....nahi i hab brought this

There was silence and suspence in the room...he took out an envelope.....and then came out a card...

Person : Ye lo ...mera invitation card..
Me : Wha invitation card??
Person : haan toh!!!!!!!!!!!!...wt more proof u require
Me : Sir how do u think this will suffice as a proof ...ye toh kahin se bhii milega
Person : Hmmm ok .....then ye toh chalega na
Me : ( I really didnt want to see that..but i dint have any chioce...with a smile ..i said) ya and what is it??
Person : ab ye toh chalna chahiye
Me : hmm wt is it??

Again there was silence
Person : YE lo
Me: ok now what is this....your mariage photos!!!!!!!
Person :haan to...meri wife ke maang mei sinddoor koi aur kyun bharega??
Me : HEHEHHHEH ..sir what are you saying..how can i send this as a document for name change
Person : Ya ..but u want a proof na that she is my wife..theres one more proof

Now i knew that one more proof and i would burst out

Person : oye sikandar....cum here
A small boy came
Person : Tell aunty who is your mom
Sikandar : papa...first tell me... mere liye kkrish toy kyun nahi laya
Person : oye chup kar....seedhe bata ..padhta likhta nahi hai..kkrish kkrish karta hai
Me : Thats ok...plzz...cant send sikandar as a document ..can I??
Person : I will tell you sumthing ..XYZ Bank is bekaar bank ..so many documents for a simple name change!!!!!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My First Post

This is a small attempt on my side to tell you my everyday experiences...which will be work related or may be a stupid incident..(which usually happens with me..;) )...do comment if you like it..