" Hellooo !!!!"
Me : " Namaste Aunty !!! "
"Looking very pretty...sooooo ..feeling nervous ?? "
Me after fake blushing : " Hehheheh....hmmm..ya a little nervous...and hows every one??"
"Everyone is fine...heheheh....chalo all the best...byee"
" Thanks Aunty"
Okkkk now who was she???....a new question..a new doubt..
If you are still thinking what exactly is going on in this post..then boyzzzz and gurlzzzzzz....it was my marriage reception ...(Sorry to break all handsome and not so handsome hearts )...well yes I got married and on my reception day I realised I had a memory power of Aamir Khan from Ghajini....
Those who are married and have undergone this experience will know what I am talking about..and those who still have not got married..you should really undergo such tests..this will help you in analyzing yourself.. knowing your strong points..your intelligence.. whether you have an inbuilt acting and modeling talent or not ...and to know whether you have a photo genic face..or that of a scare crow..;P..
Receptions/Marriages are like reality shows...In front of the camera..nothing can go wrong..its all perfect..Bride HAS to look beautiful..Groom HAS to look like a prince..and a fairytale is captured by the camera man..with varied background music.. (such songs which you might have never even heard before)...but off camera..silly mistakes..goof up can happen..
" Hey was she your aunt or mine??"
" Pata nahi re....we will ask somebody else afterwards..keep smiling...video shooting ho raha hai"..said S in full enthu
Lights camera action..one smile from my side..one pose from S's side..and there was no end to the imagination of the photographer...sometimes you are asked to give a serious pose of Amitabh Bachan and Jaya Bachan from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam...sometimes a exra happy look from Hum Saath Saath Hain...but after giving so many poses..you get so frustrated ..so tired..that you start looking like Sridevi from Nagin..;)....
" Sir ...hello sir...aap seat pe betho ..and madam aap seat ke handle pe betho.."
"Sir smile toh do..wo dekho madam ko...kaise hase jaa rahi hai.."
(Believe me one photographer said exactlyyyy this to me..I was not even smiling da..I dont know why he said that..but I got sooo bloody conscious that I stopped smiling only)
"Heyy..kya hai wo aunty ke plate mei...slurrpppp ...kya tasty lag raha hai"
" Arre humko nahi milega kya...??....humko khaana kab milega??Humara number kab aayega??"
Yup this was the worst part when I could see everybody enjoying other than the two of us...people having tasty tasty Tandoori chicken, Paneer pakode, Spring rolls ..yum yum ...was feeling like a roadside beggar watching rich kids have their food..." Humko kuch kaane ko dede baii"..
But damn ..cant eat on stage...imagine all my pics coming with one plate in hand..Hmmm not a good sight..
On top of all this... when you see so many people together in the same hall, you keep forgetting their names.. their connection with you...how you know them..when you met..etc etc blah blah..BUT you need to act...act as if he / she is the chosen one "for your marriage"..
But this acting has to be done under proper guidance..else things can go wrong..and YOU CAN BE CAUGHT MID WAY..
" Namakaaarrr beta...kaise ho"..(In a typical Kashmiri accent)
"Namaste uncle..mei theek hun..aur sab log kaise hain"
" Waray waray...che parznovthas beh??" ( Everyone is fine..Btw did you recognize me?)
" Heheheheh...(Damn no...)..haan uncle ..parznovum" ( Yeah recognized )
" Acha kus chus beh?? "..( Ok so who am I..??)
" Hehheeh ( God plzzzz help me..S say something..arre whose uncle is he??...)..hehehe...Priyanka didi's dad right ( who Prinyanka..which Priyanka..dont ask) "
Uncle with a surprised look..." Hatay kusi Priyanka....beh chus Boytoth.."..[ What Priyanka ..which Priyanka...I am Boytoth..](For those who are not kashmiris..Boytoth is a name..it is not like Boy George...it is Boytoth...hmmm a different name ...pronounced in a different way..kashu people will know..what I am talking abt..;))
" Ohhh acha acha..sorry thoda confuse ho gayi thee.."
" Hatay confuse chak gasan..tohy bambi wayl chu sory keh mashraavaan..wal wayn..naal muth teh myooth karay..."..(Confused !!!..kids from Bombay forget everything..come here will give you a hug..)
In kashimiris..hugging each and every relative is of utmost importance...so you can imagine our halat..when you have to standup every now and then and keep hugging people...its damn tiring..and you get programmed...Smile..Stand ...hug..sit (In a Recursive mode)
In the end when our stage "performance" was over..I gave a sigh of relief that now nothing could go wrong.We atlast went for having our long awaited dinner ..suddenly my mom came with 2 gentlemen
" Everything went fine na !!"...asked my mom
" oh yes.."
" Oh btw did you meet them..they were saying Dimple Didi ko ab tak nahi mile.."
Since I was still in my recursive mode..so before hearing the whole story..I got ready to give my 2 brothers..who wanted to meet thr Dimple didi a robotic hug..when suddenly my mom said
"Hay hay...Yem che waaaaz aamat"...( Heyyy...they are the cooks)
Phewww Thank God didnt do anything....this only meant that still anything could happen...like I said..Receptions are like reality shows...any thing can happen at anytime...I hope you people too are successful in keeping your silly mistakes...and popatness off camera..All the Best.. :)
( PS : All characters and names used in this post are fictitious in nature..and boss in case you find some similarity with your character or name......then be happy with the 2 min fame that you are getting because of me..and promise that you will write a post and make me the heroine in that ..:) )